DOLLY’S done for.
The musical version of “9 to 5,” which probably seemed like a good idea way back when, will close around Labor Day, several theater sources say.
It cost something like $14 million, all of which will go right down the sinkhole.
The ghastly “White Christmas” could be the next tenant at the Marquis Theatre. It’ll open late fall, thereby ruining Christmas for diabetic critics who can’t tolerate such a heavy dose of holiday fructose.
The demise of “9 to 5” is a black eye for Dolly Parton, who wrote the score. She was closely identified with the project from the beginning, and was the focus of most of the pre-opening night publicity.
After most critics thumped it — and the Tony nominators snubbed it for Best Musical — she even appeared on the Tony Award telecast, singing a few bars of the catchy title song before passing it off to cast members.
Her appearance was awkward and, frankly, smacked of a halfhearted attempt to sell some tickets. You gave her points for doing her bit, but you got the feeling she knew the jig was up.
Dolly received a Tony nomination for her score, but that’s cold comfort when your show gets passed over in the Best Musical category for “Rock of Ages.”
Her songs for “9 to 5” are professional, but none captured the zest of the title number.
A more serious problem was that neither the director, Joe Mantello, nor the book writer, Patricia Resnick (who adapted her own screenplay), re-invented the show as a Broadway musical, theater people say.
They stuck too close to the movie, and so the show plodded along with no imagination and no surprises.
Producers, always on the hunt for popular titles, are madly churning out musicals based on famous movies these days. But unless they and their writers re-imagine the film as a theatrical experience, they’re going to end up with a pale imitation of the original.
The best movies-to-stage musicals — “Nine,” “The Producers,” “Hairspray,” “The Lion King,” “She Loves Me” (which is based on “The Shop Around the Corner”) — use the movie almost as inspiration to create something for the theater that’s fresh and dynamic.
Easy to say, of course, but hard to do.
But if you can’t pull it off, your million-dollar sets will soon be bound for the junkyard.
“9 to 5” is also a black eye for its lead producer, Robert Greenblatt, who runs the Showtime network.
He’s an accomplished television executive, having saved Showtime from HBO-induced obscurity by “greenlighting” (as they say in the Hollywood Hills) popular shows such as “Weeds,” “Dexter,” “Nurse Jackie” and “The Tudors.”
He spent a lot of years — and a lot of money — on “9 to 5,” and a source tells me he feels as if he’s been kicked in the teeth.
He was flying from LA to New York yesterday to tell the cast about the closing and was unavailable for comment.
But buck up, man! Lots of producers have had flops and then gone on to produce big hits. That’s how it works in the theater.
I hope Greenblatt sticks around Shubert Alley. Anybody who picked “Weeds” will surely pick a good play or musical some day.
As for Dolly, she shouldn’t desert Broadway, either.
Look at Elton John. A couple of years ago, his name was emblazoned above “Lestat,” which lost God knows how many millions of dollars.
And this year, he’s got a little show on Broadway called “Billy Elliot.”
FLOP footnote:
“The Little Mermaid” is also closing Labor Day. When this fiasco opened to lousy reviews in January 2008, Disney executives ran around town telling everyone that the reviews didn’t matter because “The Little Mermaid” was like “Bank of America.”
Let’s see.
Bank of America stock price, January 2008: $50.
Bank of America stock price, July 2009: $13.
You know what? Those Disney executives were right!