In a rather unfortunate YouTube phenomenon, young girls ages 9 to 14 ask a faceless world whether they’re pretty or ugly.
It brings to mind a line from Tolstoy’s “The Kreutzer Sonata,” a lovely novella about paranoia and jealousy: “What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness.”
“I have a question,” one young girl says, “People tell me this all the time, so I dunno. Is it true? People say I’m ugly. So tell me, am I?”
Some 500,000 of these videos are out there.
Most come with a feigned nonchalance: “I mean, you can tell me the complete truth,” another girl says. “I get called ugly and pretty a lot. My parents call me pretty and boys call me ugly, but I don’t care because they’re boys.”
Perhaps worse are the comments. Some tell these girls to hurt themselves, or cherry-pick what they could fix. It’s a long list, really, but let’s not give it.
In many ways, it’s systemic of a young culture obsessed with the superficial.
Yes, a preoccupation with physical beauty is nothing new, but it’s morphed with the help of social media, the Internet and today’s perception of what women should look like thanks to glossy Photoshopped magazines.
What’s particularly disconcerting about these inquiries by young girls, who barely know who they are as individuals, is that the focus on looks at such a young age comes from insecurity and needing to be validated, even by those they don’t know.
And validated in a way that has no substance.
The same can be said about those who feel the need to dish out entirely unnecessary and demeaning comments. In a sordid way, they’re looking for validation, too.
You might protest that this is what social media was created for: to feel a connectedness to the world, to feel like one has a place in it, to make your voice heard (even if it isn’t a nice one).
But this goes far beyond that—each of these girls are asking the world to define her. What inevitably results is resounding disappointment, driving self-esteem down to nothing.
Where are these girls’ parents? Why aren’t they monitoring their Internet activities? The point is moot. It’s not the Internet’s fault, and it’s not (entirely) the parents’: It’s the girls asking it to be brought on.
Mind, no one gets this insecure unless she (or he) is completely self-focused. If you’re not the center of your own universe, insecurity has nowhere to live. It feeds on constant self-examination: of flaws, imperfections, things that make you different from everybody else. It vanishes when you focus on other people.
What these girls should be asking is not how they look to the rest of the world, but how they can give, out of their own unique abilities, to the world. Physical beauty changes none of that.
Elisha Maldonado is a member of The Post’s editorial board.