In the good old days, the most annoying thing on your Facebook newsfeed was the friend who kept trying to sell Rodan + Fields skin products.
That seems positively lovely now.
Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump may have just had their first debate this week, but the rest of us have been having them every day on social media for months — and it’s turning even friends into bitter enemies on the Facebook battlefront.
Before this election, it used to be possible to go about your day blissfully unaware of how most of the people in your life felt about politics. In 2008, the last presidential election without an incumbent, Facebook reported around 100 million active users — this year it’s 1.71 billion. And according to the Pew Research Center, 40 percent of social media users post about political issues.
Suddenly you know how everyone from your dermatologist to your great-aunt feels about the candidates.
There are constant conflicts and mass unfriendings. The other day in my newsfeed, a political conversation quickly devolved into name-calling and Hitler comparisons. “I think you’re a deplorable!” said one woman, a Democrat — to another Democrat.
Arguing in front of an audience, as you do on Facebook, makes things worse: The argument becomes a way to proudly brandish your views and prove what you stand for.
It becomes less a debate and more a grand theatrical event.
Suddenly you know how everyone from your dermatologist to your great-aunt feels about the candidates.
So why are people so much more likely to go from zero to 80 over a shared Guardian or Breitbart article when they wouldn’t do so in person? For one thing, it’s because of a phenomenon that psychologists call “online disinhibition effect,” which refers to a loosening of inhibitions that would normally be present during face-to-face interaction.
“People have said to me that Facebook arguments are expressive. You have the satisfaction of feeling that you have ‘said your piece’ — that is, you have not been interrupted, you have gotten your ideas out just the way you wanted them,” says psychologist and MIT professor Sherry Turkle. “It’s why people so often prefer online exchange to face-to-face conversation.”
But when you do have those IRL conversations, you can see the person’s facial expressions and notice if they seem uncomfortable, allowing you to back off. Online, there’s nothing to stop people from commenting up a storm, adrenaline surging with each additional post.
So what’s to be done? If you’ve got a Facebook friend who expresses beliefs you find extreme, offensive or irrational, unfriend them (or, if they’re a relative, just unfollow them and hide their updates from your newsfeed). If it’s someone whose opinions differ from yours, but is reasonable and respectful, keep them around to generate good debate. If you really want to escape the madness, take a social media break until Nov. 8.
Or just stay silent, forget about duking it out online, and save the real arguments for Thanksgiving.