Parenting

Surprise! Teens today actually like their parents

Back in 1979, “The Teenage Body Book” came out and had conservatives up in arms — to the point that a parent in Boston (unsuccessfully) campaigned to get the frank-advice tome banned from local schools and libraries.

It addressed topics such as illicit drugs (“Just say no” was the hard-line stance decades before marijuana’s legalization), girls getting their first periods (caught unaware, one reader had feared that menstrual bleeding was a sign of cancer), plastic surgery (rhinoplasty seemed like the envelope pusher) and birth control (techniques that involved rubber bands and ice water were dispelled).

“We talked about the diaphragm as a reasonable birth-control technique for teenagers,” remembers co-author Kathy McCoy, Ph.D. “Now we laugh at that. The current recommendations are long-acting contraceptive implants or IUDs.”

Having spent 37 years on the front lines of teendom, psychotherapist McCoy has seen plenty of changes. So much so that she and co-author Dr. Charles Wibbelsman just published an updated seventh edition of “The Teenage Body Book” (Hatherleigh Press, out now), which addresses this brave new world.

The most obvious difference between then and now? “There is so much more awareness about gender orientation,” says McCoy. In previous editions, she and Wibbelsman “talked about sexual orientation — in 1979 we described being gay as part of who a person is rather than a choice.” As for gender issues, “We stay neutral but take the stance that it’s not good to make an irrevocable decision when you are 14 or 15.”

A big difference between early editions of the book and the newest installment is an increase in awareness about gender issues, says co-author Kathy McCoy.LEE SNIDER PHOTO IMAGES / Shutterstock.com

Dealing with the stark realities of cyberspace was also a no-brainer for the 2016 edition. The book centers on staying safe in the digital world and illustrates new challenges. Teenage sexting, for example, has become a big issue. McCoy’s advice: Don’t do it. And in case readers fail to heed her words: “We address services out there that can help to minimize damage and remove things from the Net.”

Early editions of the book contained warnings about verbal gossip as the big reputation ruiner. “Now,” says McCoy, “it’s at a whole other level. People post stuff about you being a slut, and what are you supposed to do? We advise notifying parents and school [officials]. Some kids hesitate because they’re afraid that parents will confiscate their smartphones. We urge them to take that risk.”

Cigarettes remain no-nos (though McCoy is surprisingly cool with kids vaping fruit-flavored e-liquids), online porn is accepted as a reality (also: “You shouldn’t think that when you actually have sex it will be like a porn film”) and kids receive the possibly unnecessary advice to be skeptical.

“One thing we say, for the first time, is that you need to have skepticism about some things from government sources,” McCoy says. “For example, if you are trying to lose weight, you should not have the government’s recommended servings of grain and dairy. We make the point that dairy lobbyists are popular, and we encourage kids to have healthy skepticism.”

Optimistically, she points out that one major change is all for the best.

“By and large, members of the current generation tend to like their parents more [than previous generations did],” she says. McCoy’s reasoning for this sea change? “A lot of today’s parents made a vow to not be like their own parents.”