Aside from the wacky presidential election, the world is overrun with doom and gloom. The perceived threats range from ISIS and Putin to Zika and zombies (okay, the latter could be dealt with by forgoing television). It’s enough to make anyone think the Apocalypse is upon us. Turns out “preppers” — the folks who dig bunkers, wear camo and watch too much of “The Walking Dead” — have been getting ready for just such an occasion. Believe it or not, several magazines cater to this subculture.
Doomsday
Doomsday isn’t messing around. “Adapt & Survive: Disaster Strategies for Getting Out Alive” is the cover story, which is accompanied by a ghoulish gun-toter wearing a gas mask. It turns out that annihilation — be it a nuclear bomb, biological warfare or an electromagnetic pulse — is a recurring theme through the mag. “If you are lucky enough to not be at ground zero,” one story about nuclear holocaust reads, under a picture of the burned-out World Trade Center, “the resulting effort to survive will be tremendous.” The editors pose some anxiety-inducing questions to prod you into preparations. For instance, “Will you be prepared when an electromagnetic pulse takes down the grid and fries your electronic devices?” The answer is no, but we’re also pretty sure we don’t want to go on living without our iPhones.
Stay Alive
Stay Alive, presented by Living Ready, takes itself a little less seriously. In general, this one seems more for hobbyists, homesteaders and weekend warriors who would rather fantasize about preparing for a disaster than plunk down a few hundred grand on a tricked-out bunker. This is reinforced by a story on prepping pets for the end of times. The editors recommend implanting a microchip, but what happens when an electromagnetic pulse destroys the power grid? On this, they are silent. “Practical Protein: Let’s Go Squirrel Hunting!” made us wonder about the flavor. Apparently, they taste like dove, which isn’t that helpful since we’ve never eaten that, either.
American Survival Guide
American Survival Guide has more of an optimistic take on prepping: The world probably won’t end, but it would definitely get rough out there in a global blackout. It’s a little boring, actually. No guns, no gas masks. It’s all about maintaining the fridge. Boo! There’s also a bubble-bursting story for “Walking Dead” fans that explains, no, you can’t just stab someone in the head with a kitchen knife like that. The best part, though, is the review of a cookbook “exploring the exotic gastronomy of local terroir” — referring to the influence of place on flavor in case any one-percenters are also reading.
Recoil Off Grid
Recoil Off Grid is like the reasonable one whose friends are all a little too paranoid and crazy. It just wants to prepare us for a hurricane, no need to get carried away here, folks. So why does it present the case for preparedness in such an odd fashion, with three fictional stories about a hurricane, an incapacitated father and a party-girl ex-wife? An editorial — “Say No to Tinfoil Hats” — calls b.s. on those spouting about the coming Armageddon. But just as you get lulled into thinking that maybe these folks are ready to put away the emergency ham radios, they roll out TEOTWAWKI, short for “The End of the World As We Know It.” Hey, maybe Michael Stipe can make a hit song out of that one, too.
New York Magazine
Elsewhere in magazine land, where food is abundant, New York restaurant critic Adam Platt takes on eating and dieting in a hilarious article, “Platt vs. Fat,” subtitled, “Can a Food Critic Diet Successfully?” The answer comes in a three-page romp that ends with Platt — having started a multi-course meal with “a congratulatory martini” — wondering where his dessert has gone. In between, Platt confides he has visited “what A.J. Liebling, the patron saint of all giant, blue-whale food writers, contemptuously referred to as slimming prisons.” He also tells of “little emergencies” previously shared only with his doctor, including “the kidney stone I’d misdiagnosed as a bad case of indigestion after a particularly fierce Sichuan dinner.” Platt manages to drop 40 pounds on the journey, which makes him atypically ecstatic and his palette hyper-appreciative.
The New Yorker
Apropos of restaurant critics, New Yorker profiles the New York Times’ Pete Wells, who has been writing the weekly review since 2012. Author Ian Parker delivers insights on Wells’ predecessors as well as on the critic himself. It’s a must-read for New York gourmands, many of whom will more than double their knowledge about the city’s cuisine scene. And, yes, the profile addresses the same professional hazard chronicled by Platt. Although Wells is not fat, Parker writes, “the job stands between him and leanness: he can’t turn down food.”
Time Magazine
Time presents “The Exercise Cure” on its cover, and the accompanying story opens with a study of genetically diseased mice. Five months later, those mice kept sedentary were barely alive, while the ones forced to exercise were “nearly indistinguishable from healthy mice.” The fast start soon falters, however, as the story takes readers into well-trod territory — only 20 percent of Americans achieve the recommended 150 minutes of weekly activity, and more than half of aging Boomers don’t exercise at all. The good news is a 10-minute workout, properly done, can improve your health as much as “the standard 50-minutes-at-a-time approach.” But for all its promise, the story turns out to be much like its subject — a chore.