Ryan Leaf has dedicated the latter part of his life to helping others, but he laments not having the chance with Tyler Hilinski.
Hilinkski, a quarterback for Washington State, died Tuesday in an apparent suicide. Leaf was a star quarterback for the Cougars before becoming a well-known NFL failure and then spent time in prison after multiple arrests for burglaries connected to his drug addiction.
“I’m so f—ing angry. I can’t stop crying,” Leaf tweeted. “Every human life is precious. All I wish is that I could’ve been in that [apartment] in Pullman, looked that amazing young man in the eyes & said you’re loved Tyler! I’m just like you & I’ve been here & there is hope, hugged him & never let go.”
After being the No. 2 pick in the 1998 NFL Draft behind Peyton Manning, Leaf’s career fizzled. He returned to Washington State and got his degree in 2005, but he had begun taking painkillers in 2002 and eventually that led to all sorts of problems. At some point, apparently, it led Leaf to consider suicide.
Leaf was released from prison in 2014, and now works for Transcend Recovery Community, which provides housing for people trying to get sober.
Hilinski spent much of the 2017 season as the backup to the Pac-12’s all-time leading passer, Luke Falk. Hilinski came off the bench and led a dramatic comeback from 21 points down to defeat Boise State early in the season, and then replaced an injured Falk in the starting lineup for the Holiday Bowl. He would have been a redshirt junior and the favorite to start for the Cougars in 2018.