Opinion

How choosing life changed everything

Last week I dropped off my son Eli for his first day of Kindergarten — got him out of the car and into his wheelchair and rolled him into the classroom.

It was the proudest day of my life, and of course brought to mind the hardest days — the one when the doctor told us our unborn son had the birth defect spina bifada, and the one when we got the follow-up question: “Would you like to terminate the pregnancy?”

With a college degree, a good job as a teacher and coach, a beautiful wife (really, she’s gorgeous), a healthy son and another child on the way, my hopes for the future were boundless that day in the fall of 2008.

I was also under the illusion that I was very much in control of my life — a control freak, type-A to the max. That illusion was shattered — big time — when we got the diagnosis.

I spent the rest of that day dazed and terrified. How would this affect our marriage? Our older son? Our finances?

The next day, the doctor asked about abortion. My wife Ashley replied with an adamant no. Both of us believe in the value of every human life from the moment of conception.

That evening, though, Ashley cried as she read to me from the literature we’d been given. It said 80 percent of parents who receive a spina bifida diagnosis choose abortion.

And it told us that our son might have learning disabilities and be paralyzed from the waist down, unable to ever walk.

Ashley is a nurse who cares for newborns in our hospital’s ICU, but this news left her cold with fear at the suffering our child would face.

But still, in a spirit of trust in God, we chose to reject abortion and welcome Elijah Paul into our lives.

And, yes, we prayed for a miracle. We were joined in prayer by our relatives, friends, my students at a Lafayette, La., Catholic school and even by complete strangers.

Heck, getting high-school students to a place of heartfelt prayer was something of a miracle by itself, but such was the compelling nature of Eli’s story even then.

Eli was born on Feb. 17, 2009. He did have spina bifida, but the opening in his spine, which doctors had warned us might be as big as a softball, was just the size of a quarter. His surgeries went well, and despite the medical challenges, he was home in less than a month.

Living with Eli has been an adventure. He’s had seizures and surgeries, and as we continue our journey, Ashley and I have been through experiences that have scared the daylights out of us.

But our boy is doing well — better than the doctors ever expected. With braces and a special device, he’s learning to walk. His intelligence is at or above average, and he’s very talkative.

Most important, he’s a happy child with a beautiful smile and a twinkle in his eye.

I think of Eli as God’s special gift to my family. And as I share about him, Eli’s story softens hearts and brings people to a greater appreciation of the beauty and sacredness of life.

Hearing it, some pregnant mothers — four or five that I know of — have been moved to reject abortion. Several times, I’ve also seen Eli’s story rekindle the dormant faith of some — including men — drawing them into a life with more room for God and family.

One guy who had basically given up on God after many years in prison read my first book and was moved to tears, literally. Eli’s story broke that heart of stone, and the man prayed for Eli’s health and well-being as he recited The Lord’s Prayer. It was the first time he’d prayed in 30 years.

I’ve traveled the country telling Eli’s story — that rather than abort our baby, as 80 percent of Americans would have, we chose life for him and brought a happy, beautiful baby into the world.

Bringing Eli to term — giving him a chance at life — was the right thing to do. I’m reminded of it every evening, when I kiss and say good night to my beautiful boy.

Chad Judice (chadjudice.com) is the author of “Waiting for Eli: A Father’s Journey from Fear to Faith” and “Eli’s Reach: On the Value of Human Life and the Power of Prayer.”