You think you’ve got it bad when your in-flight entertainment conks out, the Pixie-Stix-addicted kid behind you mistakes the back of your chair for a vertical trampoline, and the plane runs out of “Good Morning Sunshine” cheese boxes? That’s child’s play. Welcome to Confessions of a Fed-Up Flight Attendant, a Yahoo Travel series where “Betty” describes the harrowing, real-life situations she and her comrades in the sky face every day, 35,000 feet away from a foot massage and premium whiskey.
This week Betty tells us the 11 strangest things people have asked her for on a plane. Dear passengers, flight attendant does not equal 7-11.
As a flight attendant I am constantly astounded at essential items passengers fail to bring with them while traveling. I understand that people need certain things. What shocks me is how often they forget those necessities.
Here is a curious list of things passengers have asked for on the airplane:
Sleeping pills
I’m sorry. I may look like one, but I am not actually a doctor.
Diapers
You have a baby but forget to bring diapers?
Deodorant
On certain international flights I truly wish we had deodorant to give to passengers.
Tweezers
I just had to ask this passenger, “What do you need tweezers for?” I assumed they had a splinter or something, but the response I got really surprised me.
“I fell into a plant before getting on the airplane and need to get the thorns out of my butt.” I actually had my own personal tweezers in my bag that I might have offered for a splinter but definitely not for thorn-in-the-butt removal!
Toenail clippers
They asked as if we just have one pair that we all share back in the galley.
Hemorrhoid cream
I didn’t even want to know.
Pen
This would have been fine. We have pens. It wasn’t fine when the passenger said: ”Do you have a pen? I need to clean my ears.”
Screwdriver
I obviously don’t have a screwdriver but again, I just had to ask. He replied, “To take the seat apart.” Um … that”s not going to happen! Also, we want you off the plane.
Clearasil
They were very specific about the brand.
Inhalers
See #1.
A cup and lid, a straw, and a knife
For what, you may ask? “I need to make a catheter.”