Right now, I am sitting on a balcony in Tamarindo, Costa Rica, looking out at the sunset and sipping an ice-cold beer. It’s one of those fiery, red-rubber-ball skies tonight, the kind that doesn’t even need an Instagram filter to give it a boost, and I’m listening to Bob Marley’s “Give Thanks and Praises” to really honor the occasion.
It may seem like I’m on vacation, but I’m not here to chill out 24/7 — I actually came here to work.
Here’s my logic: As a 29-year-old freelance writer, I am constantly bombarded by stories of people my age who’ve started their own companies and are officially their own bosses. Although I am happy for them, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I, too, should be running my own business — that what I’m doing is somehow not enough. So I came to the beach with my fellow freelancer friend in an attempt to experience that little slice of start-your-own-thing-ness so many of my peers seem to have mastered already.
Sure, it might seem juvenile — comparison inevitably makes you miserable.
But I’m not alone. Plenty of Gen Y-ers share my grass-is-always-greener mentality — and that entrepreneurial grass is particularly green now: 29 percent of all entrepreneurs are between 20 and 34 years old, according to a 2012 US Chamber of Commerce Foundation report.
“Successful startups are all over the media,” explains Bryan Dik, a vocational psychologist and co-founder of jobzology.com, a site that matches job seekers with meaningful work. “And since lots of startups are run by millennials themselves, other millennials are seeing their stories and thinking they, too, could follow suit and run their own companies — it seems like such an attainable, reachable goal.”
As a result, many millennials fall victim to the so-called “entrepreneurial effect” — i.e., when you get caught up imagining the business you could be running rather than focusing on the job you have.
Comparison inevitably makes you miserable
- Annie Daly
In fact, a 2013 survey of more than 2,000 millennials from oDesk, a company that offers online-only employment, found that 71 percent of millennials working at so-called “regular” jobs want to quit and work for themselves — and of that group, 60 percent want to do it in the next two years. “The gap between the perception of what things could be and the reality of what they are is increasing by the day,” Dik confirms.
Malia, a 24-year-old television production assistant, has all of the perks afforded by her “traditional” job — benefits, smart and exciting co-workers, vacation days — yet she still feels restless.
“I have a great job on paper, and my parents love to brag about what I do,” says the Prospect Heights resident, who wishes to keep her surname private for professional reasons. “I’m envious of my friends who are creating their own gigs and I feel like a sellout because I’m not. I feel stuck, like my talents aren’t utilized in my corporate job.”
Rich Fulop, a second-year business school student at New York University’s Stern School of Business, felt similarly restless last summer when he was a business intern at a big broadcasting company in Manhattan.
“Even though I was interning at a highly respected and successful company, I felt like I was a hamster on a wheel there, just doing what I was told and not being creative,” recalls the Financial District resident, 28. “And then I’d hear about Stern School alums who’d graduated and started their own technology companies, and were goofing around and drinking beer at work and being their own bosses, and I thought to myself, ‘Hmm, which one seems more fun?’ ”
Startup smoke and mirrors
The problem with dreaming about the greener startup grass is that it’s giving more and more millennials — like Malia and Fulop — the blues.
“The bigger the gap between perception and reality in the working world, the greater the job dissatisfaction,” Dik says. And that gap is even more magnified by the simple fact that most beginner businesses are actually not successful: According to recent Harvard research, more than 75 percent of venture-backed startups fail.
What these news stories aren’t showing is that startup life is really tough. Most entrepreneurs work between 80 to 100 hours a week, which is much longer than they worked in the corporate world.
- psychotherapist Katherine Crowley
Even entrepreneurs who do succeed still struggle — a lesson Fulop is slowly learning the hard way. Inspired by the dream of turning his own vision into a reality (and, OK, drinking beer at work), he recently co-founded Brooklinen, a company that sells affordable luxury bedsheets, with his business partner David Fortune, 30, of the East Village. But Fulop is hardly enjoying lunchtime brews.
“I’m working around the clock to make everything come together, and it’s not glamorous stuff,” he says. “This morning, I rented a Zipcar at 7 a.m. to go pick up sheets in Queens. And then I had to rush back to my apartment to take a phone call from a factory guy in Pakistan. And all the while, I’m feeling pretty insecure about everything. What if people don’t like this? What if I fail? I love it so much, but it’s also hard not to doubt myself all the time,” he confesses.
Experts say those long days and self-doubt are what’s missing from the American startup narrative.
“What these news stories aren’t showing is that startup life is really tough. Most entrepreneurs work between 80 to 100 hours a week, which is much longer than they worked in the corporate world,” says Katherine Crowley, a psychotherapist and co-owner of K2 Enterprises, a consulting firm that specializes in workplace relationships.
That very omission romanticizes the entrepreneurial lifestyle — thus fueling greater unhappiness among “regular” 9-to-5ers who feel they aren’t living the dream, adds Crowley.
Beat the greener-pastures blues
So how does one shake the feeling of being a “corporate coward” and feel happier with the job at hand? First, grill your startup friends who make you green with envy about their day-to-day lives. Chances are, their stories will sound a lot like Fulop’s — and hearing about the grind directly from the source could be enough to dissuade you from it, or at least give you new appreciation for your “safe” corporate gig.
“Once you get a clear sense of what that world is really like, you may realize that you don’t want to be a part of it after all,” advises Dik.
Similarly, take a moment to do some self-assessment. Ask yourself: Are you a risk-taker? Does not knowing what the future holds scare you? If your answers are no or yes, respectively, slow down.
“The misleading part about the entrepreneur effect is that nearly all millennials are taught to believe that because they grew up in a techno-centric world, they have the skills to make it in startup land. But actually, being your own boss requires a very specific set of skills that not everyone has,” Dik explains.
Startup people are generally highly persuasive risk-takers who value innovation over stability and feel comfortable rolling the dice, he continues. If you’re not wired to thrive in such a specific role, you probably won’t be happy trying.
One way to find out if you’re suited for Startup Land: Dip your toe in slowly. Rachel Mount Hofstetter, co-founder of guesterly, a company that lets you create a playbill-style booklet featuring all of the guests at a wedding or other special event, says it’s a strategy that’s worked well for many of her team members.
“A lot of them still have full-time jobs, but they get to experience the startup excitement at nights and on weekends without giving up their steady paychecks,” says the 29-year-old Upper West Sider. “I always tell people that you don’t have to quit your job to start your own thing — side hustles are awesome!”
Eric Posner, co-founder of the boutique indoor cycling studio Swerve, in the Flatiron District, can also attest to that idea. The 27-year-old spent eight months planning his business on the side before he left his finance job to focus on Swerve full time last June.
“I wasn’t happy in my corporate job, but I knew that I couldn’t just quit randomly,” he says. “So my business partners and I did our homework after work, and spoke to people in all different fields about our idea.”
His strategy worked: Since Swerve opened in November, they’ve had more than 3,000 riders take their classes — and he couldn’t be happier.
Though Posner quit his finance job to be a full time startup guy, Crowley says that doing so may not even be necessary for you.
“Just being in that environment outside the office for a little bit of time is a great way to test out your interest — and it could be enough to help some people appreciate their day jobs more,” she says.
Finally, try to remember jealousy is a two-way street.
“Whenever you start to feel unhappy in your job, remind yourself other people may want what you have, too,” explains Jean Twenge, author of “Generation Me.”
I’ll take comfort in that wisdom. I may not be the CEO of my own freelance company, but, hey, I’m lucky enough to be able to do my job from Costa Rica for a month.
And I’m going to go ahead and guess some of my Facebook followers just might be a little jealous when I post pictures of the stunning Central American sunsets here.
Just a hunch.