MLB

Hondo crushed in opener

Hondo held his ground Saturday when he bounced back from a loss with the Rangers by hitting with the Reds to remain 965 hammakers below the equator.

Sunday: Mr. Aitch is guessing the Cards will be up the creek against Hudson — 10 units on the Giants. Also, 10 on Gray to goose the Angels. Cheers!


Gwyneth Paltrow recently compared dealing with her Internet haters to what happens after you have been through a war. Apparently, Paltrow has undergone a complete conscious uncoupling with her senses, limited as they were. … Not to be outdone, Charlize Theron compared being harassed by paparazzi to being raped. What else would you expect from someone who as yet hasn’t undergone a conscious uncoupling with Sean Penn. … Obama says what he misses most about being President is “anonymity.” Judging by his dismal approval rating, most Americans are praying that somehow he regains it as soon as possible.