The B.S. — bogus sells — won’t end. The B.S. is now certified, signed, shipped daily. Candor has become as rare as the condor. First one to tell the truth — or at even come close — is it!
The NFL Players Association now offers a public relations con that provides the heartfelt apologies and explanations of suspended players via their statements, issued by the NFLPA.
These quote-unquote word-perfect, erudite statements present the suspended players as so bright that we’re left to consider how they could be so stupid in the first place.
Here’s one from drug-suspended Dolphins safety Reshad Jones, the statement released Aug. 8:
“I recently learned from the NFL that I tested positive for a substance that is banned under NFL performance enhancing substance policy. I worked closely with the union to investigate what happened, and I learned that a supplement I took caused the positive test.
“I deeply regret not investigating the supplement carefully before I took it, and I will never take a supplement without having it checked.
“I am very sorry for the effect of my mistake on my teammates and coaches. I apologize to them, the Dolphins organization, and fans. During the time away from my team, I will participate in an intense training program so that I can help my team as soon as I return.”
Signed, Reshad Jones.
Also on Aug. 8, the NFLPA issued another quote-unquote suspension apology as, the statement clearly indicated, written by Giants offensive lineman Eric Herman.
Note how Herman’s apology seems to have been written by Jones, or Jones’ apology seems to have been written by Herman, or how both seem to have been written by the same Dept. of Sincerity NFLPA apology-writer before slapping quote marks around it:
“The NFL requires a therapeutic use exemption for permission to take certain medications. I have a TUE for one medication, but not another stimulant that treats the same condition. Unfortunately, a stimulant for which I don’t have a TUE was in my body, and the rules are very strict so I am taking responsibility for my mistake.
“I sincerely apologize to my teammates and my coaches. I will not make the same mistake in the future, and I will spend the four weeks working hard to be ready to return to work.”
Signed, Eric Herman.
I call B.S.!
Why even bother distributing words and claims that intelligent folks immediately would reject as varnished nonsense?
With Stephen A. Smith freshly returned from a suspension for “inappropriate” comments about women, ESPN last week was proud and eager to return rapper Lil’ Wayne to Smith’s “First Take” studio show.
That Lil’ Wayne writes, raps, records, sells and publicly performs vulgar, denigrating, sexual objectifying songs about women — not to mention having been frequently arrested, once serving eight months for gun possession — has not deterred ESPN’s eagerness to have him serve its cross-promotional interests.
But watch your mouth, Stephen A.!
Why would the Yankees hand Michael Kay, their lead TV play-by-play man, copy to be dutifully read when it only invites ridicule? Why have him repeatedly read a promo referencing ticket-buyers — customers — as “guests”?
Guests? How much does Kay, or Randy Levine, for that matter, charge their guests for food, drink, parking and a chair? Ya think Levine stations security at his front door to confiscate the bottle of wine or crumb cake that his guests bring?
Not that they’ll ever learn, but the voices teams choose as theirs and ours — the steadiest reflection on the teams and their operations — should be the last ones exploited to take customers for fools.
Then there’s Rutgers, taxpayer-funded state university, which has whacked up the cost of football tickets based on its opponent, explaining that as, good grief, “Dynamic Pricing.”
Perhaps Rutgers now offers a B.S. in B.S.
SNY crew deftly avoid praising Bud
In listing some of the problems new MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred will inherit, SNY’s Gary Cohen, Ron Darling and Keith Hernandez, Thursday night during Mets-Nationals, seemed to conspicuously avoid praise for Bud Selig’s stewardship.
It was a welcomed shock to the system, given most baseball-callers’ pandering glorification of Selig as the man who “rescued” baseball from its drug abyss — even if the PED Era grew then exploded on Selig’s negligent, just-count-the-money watch.
In fact, Darling, recognizing that “we’re [SNY] part of the problem,” trod where few sports’ TV voices dare. He suggested MLB’s bottom-line, all-the-time reliance on TV revenue hurts the product, across the board and across the country.
To regularly schedule Thursday night games followed by regularly scheduled long trips — often to the opposite coast — to play Friday nights, said Darling, guarantees the paying public at least one exhausted, sleep-walking team. “Get-away games” have become baseball-and-chain games.
Darling suggested “the guys in the ties” have MLB return to more Thursday afternoon games, a reasonable solution. But that would mean MLB, now under Selig’s understudy, Manfred, placed the quality of baseball and the regard for its customers even a close second to TV money.
And so, Darling’s baseball-friendly take on the matter is easily dismissed as Pollyanna, to be next placed in The Big Book of Nice Tries.
Showtime’s ‘Inside’ taps miscreant
Rinse, lather, repeat: Since his rookie year with the Broncos in 2006, talented WR Brandon Marshall, now with the Bears, has relentlessly coveted and won extra on-field TV attention through unsportsmanlike, me-first, excessive demonstrations, not to mention extra off-field attention. Frequently arrested, he eventually earned a suspension for violating the NFL’s personal code of conduct.
And that must explain why of all the active NFL players that Showtime/CBS’ “Inside the NFL” could this year choose as a regular player/panelist/analyst, the shot-callers chose Brandon Marshall.
From reader Don Panush, Manhattan, Thursday: “Checking scores on my cell phone, bottom of the eighth, Pirates at Tigers: ‘J. Martinez reached on infield single to second, M. Cabrera scored, V. Martinez to third. J. Martinez to second on throwing error by second baseman M. Martinez.’ ”
Mike Francesa this week will apologize to those callers he ridiculed and shouted down for repeating reports that the Clippers would sell for $2 billion. Sitting Bull authoritatively claimed the franchise would sell for less than half that amount.
Reader Charles King, West Palm Beach, Fla., wants to thank Bud Selig for ensuring all ESPN’s Sunday night baseball telecasts end by the seventh inning, in a “nod-off.”