Fashion & Beauty

Dear celebrities, please stop destroying your Birkin bags

NeNe Leakes has a Birkin bag. Not far from its pristine Hermès Paris logo are the words “Hunni” and “Girl Bye” and “Bloop.”

Hey, it’s funny, but also the latest example of Build-a-Birkin — a k a terrorizing the expensive good with bad art — a trend that needs to stop now.

Tuesday, Leakes took to her personal blog to rant against Wendy Williams, who, via Twitter, coyly criticized the “Real Housewives” star for her emblazoned bag. Though supposedly self-adorned in “NeNe-isms” for a charitable cause, the largest quote, “I’m Very Rich Bitch,” infers a truer, entirely narcissistic raison d’être.

There’s no question that NeNe’s Birkin makes bold statements.Splash News

If a Birkin is purchased to silently speak to a person’s wealth and social status, defacing one is the explicit effort to shout it. No longer is it sufficient to be able to afford a four-to-six-figure handbag; they now have to be disposable, like doodled-on napkins. “I don’t have one Birkin,” Leakes declared in her blog post. “I have five.”

Conspicuous consumption is nothing new, but what the reality TV wife failed to consider is that the how the act is received is equally contingent upon the owner. French editor Carine Roitfeld could sketch a penis in red lipstick on a Birkin and people would call it subversive. For NeNe Leakes and others of the flash-fame ilk, however, it comes off as straight-up vulgar stunting from the nouveau riche.

Case in point: Rita Ora. In July, the fashion-monger debuted a Birkin treated with graffiti by artist Al-baseer Holly. Behind generic paint drips and symbols is the rhetorical “What you looking at?” sprayed in neon lettering. For the answer to that, the derivative destruction of a sophisticated aesthetic superior to hers, a few slurs come to mind.

And who could forget when, last Christmas, Kanye West gifted Kim Kardashian with a painted camel Birkin covered in grotesque nude figures by artist George Condo? Even Kardashian couldn’t deny that bag’s hideousness — she’s only been seen holding it once.

Mrs. Kanye West showed off her painted camel Birkin while shopping in LA last December.Splash News

Of course, leave it to Lady Gaga to instigate a trend so predicated on pomp. In 2010, the singer employed a Japanese literate to scribble “I love little monster, Tokyo love” in black Sharpie on her white Birkin. It didn’t look half-bad, either, until she opened her mouth to explain it.

“So here is the irony,” Gaga said in the September 2010 issue of Vanity Fair. “The most classic and iconic bag on the planet, but my fans don’t relate to it because it represents something they don’t have. So how do I create and make it into something that they will love and adore, and turn it into a performance-art piece in itself?”

The answer still eludes her, as performance art is hardly a cover for consumerism, and pseudo-Marxist subversion tactics tend to fail when you’re a platinum-selling pop star who can afford to destroy a Birkin.

Now, to be clear, people are allowed to do whatever they want with their stuff. But celebs, consider this: Undermining the clean, classic look of the coveted Birkin with self-aggrandizing self-customization just because you can is not edgy or impressive or relatable. The results — particularly when doltishly defended — are almost always obnoxious, unoriginal and an eyesore.

For those interested in an artistic accessory done beautifully, professionally, here are some luxe bags worth looking into:

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Celebs destroying Birkins
Chanel’s It bag of the summer fits comfortably over both shoulders, and is yours for less than four Gs.Handout
Don’t be trite like Rita Ora — try a less-obvious abstract-print clutch by Givenchy ($688).Handout
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Celebs destroying Birkins
Italian label Marni tapped French artist Francois-Xavier Tavy-Sacley to paint the pretty petals on this PVC tote ($400). NeNe who?Handout
Celebs destroying Birkins
Retro is the way to go, but pass on played-out graffiti with Patricia Al’Kary’s squiggled crossbody ($932). Handout
celebs destroying Birkins
Paris-based illustrator Jeanne Detallante brought elegant, whimsical faces to Prada’s spring satchels ($4,100). Handout
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Celebs destroying Birkins
The Birkin is pricey, but nothing beats Damien Hirst x The Row. These beautiful bags from 2012 started at a staggering $35,000. You can probably find one on eBay — or the auction listings at Christie’s. Handout
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