The Bronx
■ A burglar broke into a West Bronx laundry after smashing through a skylight, police said Monday.
The suspect crept in through the roof of the Morris Laundromat on Grand Concourse, near East 180th Street on June 5 at about 3 a.m., cops said.
The suspect, who grabbed $1,200 in cash, is about 5-foot-10 and he weighs between 150 and 200 pounds, cops said.
Manhattan
■ Maybe he should have tried the grocer that shares his name.
A man whose last name is D’Agostino was charged with stealing beef steak and loin from Whole Foods in Chelsea, sources said.
Peter D’Agostino, 63, dropped a package of loin and a package of rib steak into a bag and tried to walk out of the Seventh Avenue store without paying last Thursday at about 3:30 p.m., sources said.
He was charged with petit larceny. He is not believed to be related to the family that owns the supermarket chain.
■ This guy needs more than a red card!
An out-of-hand soccer player threatened to gouge out the eyes of another player over a late-night game in Chelsea, law enforcement sources said.
Mussem Hussain, 26, argued with a 20-year-old from The Bronx over who was going to use the playing field on Eleventh Avenue and West 23rd Street last Wednesday at about 1:20 a.m., sources said.
Hussain allegedly pulled a silver knife, pointed it at the rival player and snarled, “I’ll cut your eyes out.”
The knife-wielding player was arrested and charged with menacing and criminal possession of a weapon, authorities said.
■ A hot-headed cyclist pummeled a yellow cab driver during a road-rage incident on the West Side, sources said.
The suspect cut off the taxi at the corner of Ninth Avenue and West 37th Street on June 15 at about 8:55 p.m., sources said.
The pair began arguing and the 6-foot-tall, 190-pound cyclist punched the 54-year-old hack, sending him to Bellevue Hospital for bruises and swelling, law enforcement sources said.
■ A thief made off with nearly $10,000 worth of electronics from a Food Network storage and maintenance closet near the High Line, sources said.
The suspect used a key to get into the locked space, then snatched a box of brand new laptops on June 9, sources added.
The theft took place sometime between 9 a.m. and 2 p.m., police sources said.
The box contained several Lenovo ThinkPads, MacBook Pros and MacBook Minis, worth a total of $9,297.
The suspect is about 5-foot-10 and 170 pounds.
■ A man was viciously beaten by four assailants on the Lower East Side, cops said Monday.
The 41-year-old man was in front of 210 Stanton St. on June 16 at about 2 a.m. when he was assaulted by the men for unknown reasons.
“There were no words exchanged, it doesn’t appear anything was taken from him, so it wasn’t a robbery,” a police source said of the assault.
The victim was taken to Beth Israel Hospital in serious condition, but his condition was later upgraded to stable.
Cops say the four men appear to be in their 30s with heights ranging from 5-foot-7 to 5-foot-10.
■ A 17-year-old girl’s car was broken into while she attended church on the West Side, police said.
The teen had parked her gold 2006 Toyota Corolla on West 33rd Street and Tenth Avenue on June 15 before attending services.
She returned around 7 p.m. to find that someone had smashed the front passenger-side window and stolen her $1,000 laptop and $800 Kindle, cops said.
Brooklyn
■ A teen was shot in Kensington early Monday, cops said.
The 17-year-old was on East 22nd Street near Ditmas Avenue around 2:45 a.m. when another man began firing in his direction, cops said.
The victim was struck once in the left arm, cops said.
He was rushed to Kings County Hospital in stable condition.
Police were searching for the gunman, who fled in a black Nissan Maxima.