The 81-year-old host — among many other things — of the Web chat “In Bed with Joan” has the last moan as she answers The Post’s sex survey.
The last time I had sex was:
“It depends if you mean with a person or an appliance. With a person, it was nine months before Melissa was born. With an appliance — does a MedicAlert bracelet count?”
What’s the key to mind-blowing sex?
“Make sure the bathroom door is closed. You don’t want it to crack you in the head when the bus stops short.”
Are you able to see people having sex from your apartment, and if so, have you watched?
“I can, and FYI — Bill de Blasio is a moaner!”
What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?
“I hooked my Clapper to my vibrator so I could applaud myself into a frenzy.”
Does size matter?
“I’m not sure. When was the last time you heard a Chinese woman scream, ‘Oh, Hop Sing, punish me with your huge Komodo dragon!’?”