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10 alarming, hilarious facts about Nazi hipsters

They may be young and dumb, but they swear they’ve got the Reich stuff. Germany’s got a new bund of bros, dubbed Nazi hipsters, or Nipsters, in the press. Likes include skinny jeans, bushy beards and master-race rhetoric.

Are they a terrifying example of a nascent trend — or are they as silly and pathetic as the Illinois Nazis in “The Blues Brothers”? You make the call.

Here are 10 random facts about Nazi hipsters.

They’re racists.

What are the odds on that, right? Blacks don’t belong in Germany because, “It’s against nature — there’s a reason we’re not walking around in the sun, in Ghana, with our skin color,” proclaimed Nipster leader Patrick Schroeder to Rolling Stone.

Schroeder, who on a Web site hosts Germany’s only known neo-Nazi show, refers to Barack Obama as America’s “neger” president, using an insulting German word for “negro.”

They speak in codes.

Since it’s illegal to be a National Socialist (though legal to be either a nationalist or a socialist), nipsters refer to themselves as “nationalists.” They actually like the term nipster, because they think they’re sprucing up the image of fascism for the iPhone generation. (Good luck with that, fellas.)

They signal each other with the number 88, which is code for Heil Hitler — because H is the eighth letter.

Brands reappropriated by Nazis, Rolling Stone reported, include Fred Perry (because the logo looks like a laurel wreath), New Balance kicks (N=Nazi, get it?) and sportswear maker Lonsdale (under an open jacket, the middle of the word spells out most of “NSDAP,” the acronym in German for the historical Nazi party).

Lonsdale has been fighting back by sponsoring Gay Pride Parades but hasn’t managed to chase away skinheads yet.

They have violent fans.

Today’s extremist party NPD, which some call an heir to the banned Nazi party, is mainly associated with anti-immigrant rhetoric. A state agency that tracks extremist activity says there are some 22,000 neo-Nazis in Germany, including about 9,600 who are violence-minded.

They’re tagged with 473 criminal acts of violence against foreigners last year — a surge of 20 percent over the previous year.

They’re on Tumblr and Instagram and Facebook.

They’ve seized social media like the Sudetenland. There’s even a #nipster hashtag.

The Nipsters are planning their version of Live Aid. It’s called “Live H8.” Schroeder promises it’ll be a totally rockin’ gathering of nationalist bands, but unfortunately authorities stepped in and shut down last year’s hatefest before it could begin.

They’re anti-globalization, pro-animal rights.

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Wearing hoodies, black pants and chunky glasses, they woo young followers with pitches carefully crafted to sound au courant with today’s young lefties. They slide into immigrant-bashing later.

They like ‘How I Met Your Mother.’

The last episode had the mother dying off. Nazis are way into death. Nipsters also dressed up as Cookie Monster in one promotional stunt meant to appeal to children — proving that Times Square’s “Sesame Street” characters are not the worst street performers on Earth.

There’s a vegan Nazi cooking show.

Hitler was a vegetarian — just sayin’. “Industrial meat production is incompatible with our nationalist and socialist world views,” one of the anonymous hosts of the online show (in which the stars wear masks) told Rolling Stone.

Germany also has extremist hip-hop performers, including MaKss Damage and Dee Ex, as well as a techno act who calls himself DJ Adolf. And some Nipster Youth in masks filmed their version of “Harlem Shake,” while holding up anti-immigration signs.

They’ve got hurt feelings about all the bad publicity and stuff.

“Hitler isn’t part of our era, but he’s part of our ideology, and that time, in terms of aesthetics and discipline and brotherhood, was a model for today,” one of the cooking show hosts told Rolling Stone.

He blamed the Allies for World War II and said people should pay more attention to Stalin’s crimes when talking about the Holocaust.

They feel persecuted, kinda like . . .

One young programmer who didn’t give his real name told Rolling Stone he’d lost two jobs because of his politics: “We’re the new Jews in Germany,” he said, “except we don’t wear stars.”