Travel

Bret Michaels’ guide on how to properly trash a hotel room

Shows. Tours. Parties. Girls.

In rock ‘n’ roll, the above are standard — but to be a true rock star, you’re going to have to break a few things.

As Poison’s frontman, and solo artist, Bret Michaels has been traveling and tearing apart hotel rooms for 20-plus years.

After two decades of property destruction, it was in Orlando, Florida, where Bret, actor Charlie Sheen, and a few “friends” epically trashed a hotel room.

We chatted with Bret at the Hard Rock Cafe at Times Square in New York City, where he performed during “Sing for Your Supper” on tax day in April. The event benefits WhyHunger, and this month he donated Patriot Guitar, which he received from Operation Homefront for supporting U.S. military personnel.

Though the guitar is safely part of the Hard Rock’s world-famous memorabilia collection, some items Bret has come across (e.g., a glass table, coffee machines) have been less fortunate.

“One of us was angry, and one of us was happy. I’m not going to say which was what, but I was smiling when I broke stuff,” says Bret, who managed an unintentional exit plan. “We wrecked Charlie’s room, and then I got to go sleep in mine, which was totally together.” Bret did not disclose the final charge, but the two split the tab for the damage.

For raging rock stars in training, Bret offers this advice: “It’s always good if there are adult beverages involved. But always start big — never start slow to destroy a hotel room.”

With no specific order to tearing apart a room, there are some standard belongings that should be made unusable after impact.

“There’s got to be a massive kick, usually into a closet door — a little hollow in there, so you get your foot through it so you feel fired up when it happens,” says Bret.

Always smash things that create noise. “Find a vase or something that’s going to shatter loudly,” says Bret. “Go after the coffee machine — that’s a good one — anything from the minibar. Make sure it’s loud and a lot of glass involved and there are no children within eye-shatter range.”

Major warning: Nothing should be thrown out the window, as lawsuits ensue.

Lastly, it’s very important to pay the bill. Bret would know. He’s greeted back with open arms (almost) everywhere. “I’m welcome back anywhere that I destroy, as long as I pay the bill and they can fix the room. It makes for great stories.”