While they were talking one night recently, Dimo Trifonov’s girlfriend of one year said the magic words: She mentioned she found a friend of hers attractive, which led to a topic a lot of dudes consider a unicorn: a threesome.
“Apparently we had the same thought in our heads for a long time,” says the 23-year-old.
But they weren’t sure how to meet a willing third party: They don’t drink alcohol, take drugs or hang out in nightclubs.
And they felt that Web sites like Craigslist were about as appealing as a musty underground sex dungeon.
So Trifonov, a creative designer who lives in London, got to work coming up with an alternative.
The result? 3nder (pronounced “three-nder”), an app that launched in early July as a sleek, modern (and free) means to fulfill your three-way dreams. It’s similar to the dating app Tinder:
Users are presented with pictures of nearby singles or couples who might be a match. They swipe up if interested, down if not.
Sure, it could — at least in theory — make setting up threesomes as easy as playing Angry Birds.
But Trifonov’s goal for the app is to bring some respectability to such bedroom parties. He hopes it does for threeways what Uber did for hiring sketchy livery cabs.
“It’s not like your relationship is wrong if you want to have sex with different people,” he says.
The app quickly found an audience: 60,000 people signed up before it even launched, and the membership has been growing by 10,000 a week. More than 2,000 live in New York.
“3nder is more about being open and sharing who you are, what’s your desire and who you want to be,” says Trifonov.
It’s a good time for 3nder to launch: A worldwide study released last year by the Metro publication showed 20 percent of people have had a threesome — up from 14 percent a decade ago.
It’s already drawing some fans out from under the covers.
“3nder will lower the barrier to a possibility that is otherwise taboo to approach in conversation,” says app user Jasper, a 38-year-old in Soho who has been having threesomes since college. He likes the app because it lets you focus on compatibility, not on whether someone is reready for a bit of adventure.
“It becomes a matter of finding the people you are attracted to and with whom you have common interests,” says Jasper, who asked not to use his last name.
Zoe, a college student in Ireland, is one of the app’s early adopters. She’s been making plans to meet with some people she met through the app, though her first-ever threesome has still yet to happen.
“At first I was [nervous], but noticed that it brought out something in me that I liked,” says Zoe, who requested her last name not be used. “The adventure of it all was thrilling.”
To accommodate all sexuality types, 3nder has lots of options: You can register as a couple or a single person and choose your sexuality, including the straight and gay plus the more progressive pansexual (people who are into any gender or sexuality type). Singles can seek out other singles to make three of a kind, too.
As for Trifonov? His own three-way still eludes him. He’s been too busy developing the app — but he’s still game.
“If it comes [along], why not?” he says. “It’s about finding the right person — it’s not just about finding somebody.”