On Father’s Day, it’s worth remembering that when it comes to romantic advice, Mother’s not the only one who knows best. True, Mama might have said, “There’d be days like this,” but Papa said, “Make sure he pays the check.”
At least that’s the romantic input Maria Avgitidis, a 29-year-old matchmaker, got from her dad. “I was 26, and I told him I went on a first date where a guy asked me to split the check,” says the Chelsea resident. Dad replied, “If he can’t afford to date you, he shouldn’t be dating.”
She heeded his advice — and notes that her current boyfriend, who she’s been dating for a year and a half, has “paid for almost every date we’ve been on.” Now, her father has updated his advice: “If or when you have a son, make sure he can afford to date.”
But sometimes, good old-fashioned chivalry can go a long way. “My father told me to be a gentleman and open doors,” says John Ortved, a 33-year-old editor from the West Village. “Once, as an adult, after we’d gone to dinner, he took me aside and admonished me for not opening the car door for my girlfriend. He didn’t make a big deal out of it or do it publicly, but he’s also not an admonisher. It really stuck with me.”
Admittedly, the only car doors Ortved grabs in Manhattan are taxi doors — and he’s ready to lunge in front of a closing subway door for a damsel in distress.
Other proud papas have more emotional advice. Blogger Amanda Chatel’s father is an animal lover who always told her, “Never love someone who doesn’t brake for turtles.” She thinks he meant not to love anyone who isn’t careful and sensitive to those around them — but also, “Someone who doesn’t love animals shouldn’t get to reap the benefits of having you in love with them.” Today, the 33-year-old East Village resident is happily married — and raising a dog! — with a fellow animal lover.
Dads don’t just give good advice on what to look for at the beginning of a relationship — they also have sage words on how to sustain one. Amy Yallof, a marketing consultant from the Upper West Side, says her father gave his best advice on the evening of her wedding rehearsal dinner. “He said, ‘You each have to give 110 percent,’ ” recalls the 47-year-old. Today, she and her husband, Matthew, have three kids. “When we both follow his advice, it works out better than when we don’t,” adds Yallof.
Other times, dads’ best advice is not on how to keep relationships working, but on when to end them. Nicole Tourtelot, a literary agent from Bedford-Stuyvesant, says she turned to her father after a relationship that began on OkCupid fizzled out after just three months. His advice? “Move on.”
“He has mastered the art of compartmentalization and encourages his children to do the same,” says Tourtelot, 32. This time, however, she pressed him for advice on exactly how to do so.
“If someone hurts you, you write their name on a piece of paper and you flush it down the toilet,” she recalls him saying, “then you MOVE ON.”
Finally, the best advice may to just be safe. “Once my dad sent me a USA Today headline that read, ‘Study: 1 in 4 NYC Adults Have Herpes,’ ” says Jenna Sauers, a 28-year-old graduate student from Greenpoint. “The e-mail read, ‘Let’s be careful out there. Love, Dad.’ ”