When Giants defensive tackle Jay Bromley was accused on Jan. 30 of raping a woman at the Hyatt Herald Square hotel, fans were shocked. But one of the biggest head-scratchers of the story was how the two met.
It’s not new for an athlete or other celebrity to encounter “civilians” at a nightclub or even a hotel lobby during an away-game trip. Bromley, however, met his date on Instagram.
Allowing fans unfettered access to their favorite celebrities — and the ability to exchange direct messages with no phone numbers revealed — has revolutionized the groupie game. There are no bodyguards or VIP-room bouncers blocking the gate. Any wannabe groupie can now target his or her favorite rapper, rock star, actor or athlete with the simple click of a button. And it’s not unheard of to get a response.
“Before celebrities were on Instagram, you had no chance at getting to them, unless you knew someone who knew them, or knew their agent, or you happened to see them at a club,” says a former NFL player who was signed to the Indianapolis Colts.
“There was no chance that a celebrity would have direct contact with you. Now you can get their attention with a message, and they know who you are,” he adds.
There are endless memes, GIFs and websites that refer to “sliding into the DM” — that is, direct message. In his hit song “Down in the DM,” rapper Yo Gotti spits out raunchy lyrics that describe in detail the kind of photos exchanged between famous men and the women who love them.
“Social media is the new vehicle for groupies, no doubt,” says a veteran sports publicist who represents a large number of NBA players. “The 19-year-old [athletes] are dating on Snapchat and the 24-year-olds are on Instagram. It’s a generational preference.”
New York Jet Antonio Cromartie met one of his eight baby-mamas on Facebook. In her 2011 memoir, “Love, Intercepted: A Tale of Football, Falling and Failing in Love,” attorney Rhonda Patterson wrote about striking up a conversation with the cornerback on the site. Their romance developed from an online exchange to an engagement and a child, but ended with a split — and Patterson talking in her book about Cromartie’s alleged infidelity.
Twitter was in a tizzy last month when actor Jake T. Austin (“The Fosters,” “Wizards of Waverly Place”) tweeted a photo of himself kissing new girlfriend Danielle Caesar, a fangirl who had been publicly messaging him on the app for five years. “Vanderpump Rules” lothario Jax Taylor met his current flavor of the month, Hooters waitress Brittany Cartwright, on Instagram. And “Teen Mom” Amber Portwood struck up a romance with unemployed father of seven Matt Baier on Twitter.
The veteran publicist notes it isn’t just fans sending unsolicited photos to celebs. You’ve also got stars seeking out groupies by tapping into Instagram’s “explore” option, which shows photos — often from virtual strangers — that people in your network have liked.
For athletes, that can be a virtual buffet of booty.
“There’s nothing but girls,” says the publicist. “Just scroll down and pick one. Whatever qualification they’re looking for — a big butt, big boobs, big lips — it’s all there. That’s exactly what a lot of these athletes do.”
“People use burner phones that they throw away. Never leave that trail!” says the ex-footballer. “Bigger names are more discreet, because they are aware of what can go wrong.”
And things can indeed go wrong.
In 2014, actor James Franco was left red-faced when he was outed by a 17-year-old Scottish schoolgirl he tracked down on Instagram after meeting her at the stage door of his play “Of Mice and Men.” She took a screen shot of their conversation, in which he tried to set up a hotel tryst, and despite his request to not tell anyone, she posted the whole exchange online.
“It’s the new frontier for public-relations disasters,” says the publicist. “You used to worry about who [your clients] were going to meet in the hotel or in the club. [Now] most athletes say they won’t date anyone they meet in the club. It’s now considered a turnoff. And most hotels have precautions in place about people wandering the lobbies.”
The former player actually misses the old days. “At events with players, you see the dynamic of girls going after guys . . . but you have a better sense of what these girls are up to. You can tell your buddy, ‘Hey, leave that girl alone.’ And there are witnesses to see people leaving a party together. Meeting people in person is always safer.”
‘I have a friend who is playing pro football right now and is happily married, but he was texting with girls on Instagram. When he didn’t follow up on his flirting, the girl sent a screen shot of their conversations to his wife.’
And there are dangers — especially when a groupie has more than just sex in mind.
“There are people whose specific intentions are to go and get money,” says the former football player, “and these girls have absolutely nothing to lose.”
According to police sources, Bromley’s accuser was performing oral sex on him when she stopped and demanded $2,000. He reportedly refused to fork over the money, because he thought they were on a date. Last year, the same woman tried to extort actor Taye Diggs over a sex tape: She uploaded to Instagram a brief video of the pair in a hotel room, followed by a profanity-laced screed addressed to the actor and threats to release more clips “if u don’t get ya s – – t right.”
The gold-digging can start even before players sign a contract.
One Big Ten football star, after declaring for the draft in January, was approached days later on Twitter by a much older woman asking to be “his friend” and proffering her phone number.
The 20-year-old player’s mother admits that she has seen the chase heating up since her son stated his intention to go pro.
“These girls out there have their own mock drafts,” she says. “As soon as your kid’s draft projection goes up, their Twitter and Instagram numbers swell. I’ve seen it firsthand. These girls are able to pull out your information, learn where they’re training, and go after these kids. If someone says you’re going to [be drafted in the] first round, you will get first-round ratchetness coming your way. These girls put up pictures and it’s like a fast-food menu.”
This new phase has presented a teaching moment for her family.
“You’re excited that your kid is declaring,” she says, “but you have to sit down and have a conversation about social media.”
She isn’t the only one sounding the warning bell. During their rookie symposiums, the NFL, NBA and NHL all address the perils of social media and show examples of how a simple post or message can sink a career.
But why would someone with such fame and resources at their fingertips troll the Internet for bedtime companions?
The appeal is in the ease, the immediacy and the ability to juggle a virtual harem of eager women at once.
“It’s Ashley Madison for dummies,” says the publicist. “[People] never have your actual phone number, so [it seems] safer. You don’t have to pay to use Instagram, either. Chances are [these guys] are messaging with about 15 people at once.
“There are some clients who have been in relationships with people they met on social media, and when stuff blows up, I always say, ‘Well, you met her on social media. You don’t know her from Eve, and she sent you pictures of herself in lingerie.’ ”
The former pro ballplayer says he’s seen social media wreak havoc on some of his peers’ lives.
“I have a friend who is playing pro football right now and is happily married, but he was texting with girls on Instagram. When he didn’t follow up on his flirting, the girl sent a screen shot of their conversations to his wife,” he says. “Even if you have no intention of following through, you’re enjoying the attention. Everyone wants to feel wanted or sexy. You think you have a level of secrecy, but that’s not the case.”