Vogue
Price: $5.99
Hits: The triple threat of Joan Smalls, Cara Delevingne and Karlie Kloss hit the Vogue cover, which hasn’t had this much oomph since the last multimodel blowout in May 2009. Inside, Kloss rocks autumnal couture in Peru, Caroline Trentini blooms in the season’s fantastical finest, and Chanel Iman and rapper-boyfriend A$AP Rocky star in a dreamy shoot that should have been dubbed “Drunk in Love.” In a tear-jerking excerpt from her forthcoming memoir, Diane von Furstenberg writes about accepting and loving her aging face.
Misses: Unless you own the chateau featured on Page 562, don’t expect to find anything you can actually buy. The credits, dumped in the back (probably for the best), are seizure-inducing.
News you can use: Though the cover promises a social-media extravaganza with its “Instagirls!” headline, the issue is less a newsy Twitter-style feed and more a portable Pinterest board. From an essay on social activist Naomi Klein to a silk cravat page starring Kendall Jenner, there’s something for girls of all ages to glean — mostly by way of aspiration. That’s Vogue just the way we like it.
4 out of 4 kisses
Marie Claire
Price: $4.99
Don’t miss the season’s It accessories cleverly mixed in with doppelgänger groceries: Armani with asparagus; Bulgari alongside red peppers; Alexander Wang paired with line-caught trout.
Misses: Bed head has been back for a while now, Marie Claire, and no one cares about “Project Runway” anymore. The chalet-chic spread with ample “prices upon request” is as uninspired as it is inaccessible.
News you can use: The smart @Work section tackles everything from career pointers to picking the perfect steel watch. “True Blue” proves you don’t have to be a TV hooker to try Smurf-color makeup. And, at the back, find a stirring read on University of Alabama student Chrystal Stallworth’s stand against racial discrimination.
2.5 out of 4 kisses
Glamour
Pages: 374 (12 fewer than last year)
Price: $3.99
Hits: Olivia Wilde looks lovely in Lanvin on the cover. Six pages see the new creative class rocking a slew of kick-ass coats, with just as many pages allotted to a Q&A with Hillary Clinton. In “She’s a Natural,” pregnant Doutzen Kroes offers helpful tidbits for moms-to-be, nary a stretch mark in sight. Plenty to agree with in “Dos and Don’ts,” and — at long last — someone has addressed the insidious issue of crazy cleaning bills in a world of embellished everything.
Misses: Despite preening from blue-chip Karolina Kurkova and Carolyn Murphy, the overpolished shoots are as stiff as a Botox grin. (Though new mom Ms. Wilde had the good sense to cause some excitement and pop out a breast-feeding boob in her spread.)
News you can use: “Girls” star-turned-thoughtful columnist Zosia Mamet covers eating disorders (deep!). Definitely check out the salary survey to see where you stand, then move on to the more lighthearted “Month in Nails,” which gives you 30 excuses to try something different the next time you’re at the salon.
3 out of 4 kisses
Elle
Pages: 664 (6 more than last year)
Price: $4.99
Hits: Skip deadpan cover girl Kristen Stewart (see: misses). Instead, jump to the next story, a purposefully gloomy, gorgeous knitwear ode, shot in the Scottish Highlands. Lots of scrumptious essays on subjects ranging from Fleetwood Mac to feminism in fashion.
Trend pages are sparse and immaculate, though shoppable only for the 1 percent. The elitism goes live-action in a Carolyn Murphy shoot set in Detroit, where she shows off lavish designer duds in the bankrupt city.
Misses: Stewart’s vacant expression appears throughout, and it’s vexing. She gives The Post a shout-out, though (“The day [‘Twilight’] came out there was a picture of me — in the New York Post, I think”). Love you, too, K-Stew. Also miscast: the flavorless model in an otherwise excellent Boy George editorial that creatively showcases oversize tailoring.
News you can use: Flip slowly to find the meat in the glossy’s biggest issue ever. The on-point Elle 25 spotlights what movies, tunes and television to soak in (this year it’s a detachable insert, prime for sharing), while the new designers profiled are definitely the ones to watch. Especially love the survey of upcoming art books, including ones on Schiaparelli, style icon Marella Agnelli and Antonioni’s “Blow Up.”
1.5 out of 4 kisses
Lucky
Pages: 172 (64 fewer than last year)
Price: $3.99
Hits: Dakota Fanning in Proenza Schouler makes for one of the freshest covers, fashionwise. Inside, endear yourself to the grounded NYU undergrad: “You can’t be a slave to what everyone else thinks looks good, because sometimes it doesn’t look good on you.”
Preach!
Spunky It Brit actress Imogen Poots also makes an appearance, lighting up the camera in the season’s ubiquitous mod trend better than most professional models.
Misses: The fall shoe guide is meager and lazily designed — a problem that pervades the glossy.
Seems the stories working women can use are reserved for online content, a la “10 Outstanding Drugstore Concealers That Make You Look More Awake.”
News you can use: “Top That,” a winsome coat spread, will make you rue the dwindling days of summer. Unsurprisingly, the most accessible thing about Lucky is Eva Chen, who finishes her editor’s letter with cute accessories pairings and Instagrams of her manicured feet.
2.5 out of 4 kisses
Harper’s Bazaar
Pages: 642 (44 more than last year)
Price: $5.99
Hits: Of the three “iconic” issue covers, a puppy-clutching Lady Gaga wins. Carine Roitfeld gorgeously styles 18 other icons, including Lauren Hutton, Brooke Shields and Monica Bellucci. Audrey Hepburn’s granddaughter Emma Ferrer gets a lengthy read; fantastic, since who knew Hepburn had a granddaughter? On the trends front, must-haves are hashed out in every way imaginable — from “Get the Looks” to editor guides. Let’s also applaud the glossy for being so wallet-friendly in its biggest issue ever: More than a handful of goodies in the “Bazaar” shopping pages are priced less than $600.
Misses: Beauty secrets from Gwyneth Paltrow — ha! There’s no secret she hasn’t gabbed about on “Goop,” let alone one to make us consider her highfalutin’ opinions. That’s almost as comical as Cathy Horyn’s pointless endeavor to decode Miuccia Prada, fashion’s foremost pillar of complexities.
News you can use: The “Look Fab at Every Age” cliché gets a sincere spin from five busy women (including Arianna Huffington) in “Beauty Diaries.” Don’t forget that items marked with a “B” sticker are available on e-tail outpost shopbazaar.com. Plus, pay attention to the back page — the disarmingly poetic tribute to Marianne Faithfull penned by Salman Rushdie is an ideal ending for an issue dedicated to legends.
3.5 out of 4 kisses
W
Pages: 470 (14 more than last year)
Price: $4.99
Hits: Rihanna on the cover — exoticized, sure, but stunning. The singer joins Naomi Campbell and Iman in a black-power-ful second spread celebrating Balmain creative director Olivier Rousteing.
The consistently accurate “Inspiration Equation” illustrates how Wilma Flintstone plus a Ring Pop beget Céline’s rock-candy chokers.
Giovanna Battaglia wins the medal for ’60s-inspired styling by skipping Louis Vuitton (but including economical Banana Republic) in her “New York Dolls” editorial. On the contemporary tip, the 26-page folio “Super Normal Super Models” sees Kate Moss, Daria Werbowy and crew proving that only pretty people can get away with normcore.
Misses: You might mistake the “Hot Property” and “Objects of Desire” accessories pages for humdrum ads. It also wouldn’t kill them to be a little more grounded and less absurd (“I can’t think of a better outfit in which to sip mulled wine and stroll along the Danube”).
News you can use: Designer profiles on Alessandro Dell’Acqua and others are top-notch, and the “Best in Show” hodgepodge of fashion-meets-culture is Cliffs Notes for the luxury-inclined. If names like Elsie de Wolfe, Helen Marten and Leonetta Luciano Fendi mean nada to you, study up! W insists you be as cultured as they are.
3 out of 4 kisses
InStyle
Pages: 710 (6 fewer than last year)
Price: $5.99
Hits: Actresses Isabel Lucas and Charlotte Le Bon tap into boho and romantic fashions, respectively. The best story features Erykah Badu, slammin’ in the season’s edgy, less obvious fare. Need an office outfit? Find two weeks’ worth of ready-mades in “Instant Style,” which kindly obliterates the guesswork.
How ’bout a cookie? Yup, that’s covered, too — in a recipe for Delpozo-inspired treats.
Misses: On the cover, A-lister Julia Roberts sports fall Louis Vuitton by Nicolas Ghesquière, a collection that’s been photographed more times than she has.
The “Shop It!” trend section is often slipshod and boring, but hey, there’s something for every budget.
News you can use: This fashion tome is more enlightening than an Ayn Rand novel (with almost as many pages). The “Clothes We Heart” segment hand-feeds you the trends — fuzzy coats, Chelsea boots, track pants galore. Meanwhile, the “Anatomy of the Perfect Layer” beats anything you ever learned in bio.
3 out of 4 kisses
People StyleWatch
Pages: 318 (10 fewer than last year)
Price: $4.99
Hits: Pay no mind to Lauren Conrad’s #basic face on the cover — this bad boy has 859 new looks to get you through approximately 90 days of fall! Even if you’re not as excitable or celeb-obsessed as they are, there are tons of practical tips from style experts. Props for the staggering variety of inexpensive finds, and for reassuring us it’s OK to ask for price adjustments in “5 Savvy Ways to Save Big $$$!”
Misses: Fast-fashion consumption is like a meal at Taco Bell — satisfying until the guilt sets in. Burn the page titled “What Guys Really Think” because it doesn’t matter — dress for yourselves, ladies. Also bypass the pop culture roundup, which problematically endorses a Maroon 5 album.
News you can use: In StyleWatch World, few trends are off-limits. Shearling shoes? Sure! Fall pastels? Yes, please! Look out for exclusive codes to snag discounts on stuff that’s already über-cost-effective.
2 out of 4 kisses