The best parts of an awards show are the one-liners and the flubs. Last night’s annual “American Comedy Awards” on NBC was predictably full of the former.
Here are the 10 funniest moments:
Andy Daily
“Heres a little secret about late night television: If it was any good, they’d put it on earlier when people with jobs could watch it.”
Leslie Mann
“It’s extra-special for me tonight because my husband, Judd Apatow-Mann, is one of the nominees for “Anchorman 2,” and I told him before the show that if he doesn’t bring home the gold that I’m not gonna do it with him for a year, so let’s see how this works out for me.”
Chris Rock
Presenting Bill Cosby with the Johnny Carson award for comedic excellence: “[Bill Cosby’s] comedy made being married and having kids seem like a lot of fun — it seemed like the most fun in the world. And it’s not! That’s how funny Bill Cosby is.”
Billy Eichner
Presenting Will Ferrell with the award for best comedy actor in a film: “Will Ferrell couldn’t be here tonight, he’s shooting a movie with Kevin Hart in New Orleans . . . Oh, he’s stuck in New Orleans . . . if only there was a way to get a huge movie star from New Orleans to New York!”
Amy Poehler
Accepting the award for best comedy actress in a TV series: “I think a lot of people ask ‘Are women funny?’ but I think not enough people make the statement that black people are funnier than white people.”
Maria Bamford
Accepting the award for best club comic: “This is for all the comics who are bombing tonight — anybody who is going up in front of 300 silent, angry Jet Skiers in Laughlin, Nevada.”
Hannibal Buress
“I’m here to present the award for best alternative comedy series . . . people always ask me, ‘What does that mean?’ . . . nobody asks me that . . . ”
Sir Patrick Stewart
“Our next category, perhaps more than any other, demonstrates the enduring capacity of the human spirit, the individual’s aching need to create and the artist’s ability to expand our minds and fill our hearts with joy. . . . of course, I’m talking about the nominees for best viral video.”
Jim Gaffigan
Accepting the award for best stand-up comic: “These awards shows seem a lot less silly when you win.”
Bill Cosby
Accepting the Johnny Carson award for comedic excellence: “Johnny [Carson] would introduce, you’d go on that star, you’d do your three minutes and you were paid $340 — they had no idea I was four years from the projects. That’s a lot of money! So when I came off, I said to the guy, ‘Give me my money!’ ”