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Rachel Uchitel: The night I met Tiger Woods & my life spun out of control

In an explosive, exclusive interview with The Post, Tiger Woods’ alleged mistress reveals how she innocently came to meet the golf superstar — and dishes sensational details about the rumors behind their reputed extramarital hookup.

‘THIS is ridiculous. Not a word of it is true,” Rachel Uchitel told The Post. “I told the Enquirer and Star that it wasn’t true. I told them not only did I have information to disprove the story, but I offered to take a lie-detector test.

“It’s the most ridiculous story. It’s like they are asking me to comment if there are aliens on Earth. I found out who their sources were [Uchitel says she understands there were two sources to the story], which girls were blabbing.

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“The worst thing is that everybody in New York is talking about me and Tiger Woods now because their reporters have been calling up everyone I know or have ever worked with, asking what they know about the supposed affair.

“It’s just dumb stuff. I was happy to answer any of their [the National Enquirer’s] questions, but they didn’t want to listen to me when I denied it. I look like a home wrecker and an a- -hole.

“And its horrible to Tiger’s family. His wife must feel horrible. The worst part of it, it’s not true.

“That’s a horrible thing to read: ‘Tiger’s telling Rachel he loves her.’ It’s just so dumb.

“[The source of the story] is not even a friend of mine. I’ve met her twice in my life. I’ve got some really horrible things that I can say about her and her past. I am toying around if I should go after her, because she’s not a credible source.

“This girl was never around me for any of the time she was saying she was. If I was having some big, lurid affair, I would not tell this girl. It’s just ridiculous.

“She got paid money to sell a story to the National Enquirer. I heard she got $25,000 and another girl got $25,000. The other magazines heard about it, but they turned it down because there was no hard evidence.

“She had a personal reason to make this up. She got herself invited on a trip that I went on [to Europe]. She conducted herself in a manner that was so embarrassing that the trip ended after a day. It was a total nightmare. I saw her again last week in Vegas. I was embarrassed by her behavior. She fell down the stairs at the restaurant because she was so wasted. She’s a train wreck.

“I don’t want people like that around me. In my business, I am around celebrities and very rich people all the time. People look into it badly. People say all the time: ‘Rachel only hangs out with celebrities and rich people.’ It’s my job. I work in the nightclub industry. those are the people that come there, and the clients are my job.

“I’ve always been the director of VIP services, that’s my job — to know these people, to have a relationship with them, to hang out with them. It doesn’t mean I am having sex with them or an affair with them. These are people I hang out with and become friends with.

‘BUT Tiger and I are not friends. That’s a whole different ballgame. I’ve only met him twice. He came in to The Griffin [the Meatpacking District nightclub where she worked as a VIP hostess] in the summer. As usual in my job, I got a call from a promoter that he’s coming in. I went outside and brought him and his entire group in, walked them upstairs, introduced him to his waitress.

“I may have asked him if he needed anything. I hung out at the door to make sure they were OK, and when they were ready to leave, I walked them downstairs to the car. That’s my job. Then I heard rumors I was making out with him at Griffin, that I had brought him in to Griffin.

“I had never spoken to him before that. I had met him once in my entire life before that, for two seconds at a bar through a mutual friend who just introduced me. Period. He was shy and quiet and sitting with someone else. It had nothing to do with me.

“[One of the two sources] overheard a conversation where, again as part of my job — and I’m not working in the nightclub industry anymore — but all the time, I still get calls from people asking me to get them tables here or there . . . ”

“I got a random phone call from somebody who needed to set up a bachelor party in Vegas. He said, ‘Tiger Woods was going to be with us, can you set us up?’ I said sure. I had no contact with Tiger Woods, nothing to do with Tiger Woods, but when you handle a situation like that, you are very careful as to how you place them and what happens. So before I took off — literally from the airport — I’m literally spending all my time texting with my contact in Vegas.

“The bottom line was I was setting up a table for them, and obviously, I was saying Tiger’s name as I was talking on the phone to my contact. And when I landed, I found out there was a problem, so for like four hours, I was having a meltdown with [her Vegas contact] and with other people at [the nightclub] to try to get to the bottom of what happened.

“I heard they walked in, they were there for 10 minutes and they left, that a bunch of people were hanging over the railings trying to get Tiger’s autograph. I was trying to get to the bottom of it so I could call the guy back who booked the table and apologize.

“So I was literally on the phone for four hours with [my contact], who will also go on record, saying I was on the phone for hours trying to work out what the f- – – happened with their table reservation. Tiger’s name, of course, was brought up because it was about protecting a celebrity. But it was nothing to do with me knowing him, about me having sex with him, text messaging him, sexy text messages — the whole thing is ridiculous. I mean, he loves me? It’s hurtful to his wife.

“I mean, who are these people?”

WHEN asked about what her connec tion with one of the sources is and what happened on the vacation, Uchitel said: “She was just a roommate of a friend who got invited at the last minute. This guy at the hotel gave her 3,000 euros to go upstairs with him, and then basically got the money back because two minutes into whatever they were doing, she passed out from too many Quaaludes.

“The guy came downstairs and was like, ‘Rachel I don’t know you, but you brought hookers here, and they are not even like hookers? This girl passed out on my bed, it was like gross. Like, who are these people?’

“And I was like, ‘Oh, my God, I am so embarrassed, I am so sorry.’ The whole thing got really weird.

“She’s just a total train wreck, this girl, and decided because she heard me say Tiger’s name a bunch and her and her wicked little friend are looking for a story . . . I think they probably misinterpreted because they are on so many drugs and just stupid. When I was arguing four hours on the phone about Tiger, they probably thought, ‘Oh, Rachel knows Tiger.’

“The whole thing’s a lie. Tiger never told me he loved me. They said they overheard him saying he loved me. It’s just stupid. I’ve never texted or talked to him on the phone. I was talking to [the Vegas bachelor-party organizer] who will go on the record and back me up. The argument was about Tiger, but it was I didn’t understand why there were cameras there and why they left.”

UCHITEL admitted she was in Melbourne at the same time Woods was Down Under for a tournament last month, but she denied there was any hook-up with the golfer.

“I did not go to Australia to see Tiger,” she said. “I travel all the time. It’s part of my job. I’m always traveling with people who are bottle-service customers, or clients who have become friends. I was down in Australia with friends who were there for a number of different reasons and had nothing to do with Tiger Woods. This is what I think is so dumb. The story said I checked into the hotel in Australia and went to the 35th floor.

“They had a picture of me checking in. I never denied I was in Australia, but there was a guy standing next to me, except his picture wasn’t printed. I was down there with a couple of guys, a couple of friends and it’s none of anybody’s business what I was up to in Australia. That’s nobody’s business.

“But to say I checked in alone is a lie because whoever was following me clearly knows I was with somebody.

“And like I could just walk up to the 35th floor and go to the Presidential Suite if Tiger Woods was staying there? Like they would hand a girl a key at the front desk and let her go to Tiger’s room.

“I didn’t see him in Australia at all. I was just there with friends. I travel all the time for business, I travel with bottle-service customers, and I set up their nightclub stuff, their restaurants, their lunches, kind of like a concierge would. I become friends with my clients and go on trips with them.

“[One of the sources] is just looking for a payday because she is a f- – -ing hooker and wants money. She just got a little smart for once and put some things together she could use for a story.

“It doesn’t look good because of stories in the past about me and other celebrities, and everybody thinks I’m just a celebrity f – – -er. Well the truth is, I live alone, I don’t have a boyfriend, and I have my gay best friend staying over most nights. I’m a recluse. I don’t go out, I stay home with my dogs and friends.

“There was no evidence. It’s just [their] word against mine and Tiger’s. If there was evidence, she would have dates, times, pictures . . . I knew they were going to slant it that I was this home wrecker, this club girl who was jetting round with Tiger Woods.

“It’s the same story as the one with [“Bones” star] David Boreanaz a month ago. It was really embarrassing for me that they [the Enquirer] spent the last two weeks calling everyone in New York about me and Tiger and that spread like wildfire.

“I don’t want people to think I am having an affair with Tiger Woods, or that I am trying to leak some story that I’m having an affair with Tiger Woods. But that’s less hurtful to me than them saying I am some pill-popping sex addict. Because a nice, normal guy that I would like to end up with — hopefully they don’t read Star and Enquirer — they are going to have a tainted view of me, and that’s not OK.”

“I have never spoken on the phone with Tiger Woods, or texted him, ever. I get this stuff all the time. I see celebrities all the time. I was just in Vegas for a week, having dinner with celebrities. I hear this all the time. I don’t want to comment on the David Boreanaz stuff. That one is a different ballgame than the Tiger Woods thing.

“My statement is: I work in clubs and I am a businesswoman. I do not have sex with celebrities, and I have not had an affair with Tiger Woods.”