Real Estate

Summer shares gone sour

Every summer, my husband’s extended family coordinates a weeklong beach vacation in a rented home on the Jersey Shore. I get along with most of my in-laws, but his two sisters seem dead-set on criticizing my kids. I want my children to enjoy quality time with their grandparents and cousins, but I really hate how awful these women can be.
—Janice R., Weehawken

I’ll go out on a limb here and say if they’re critical of your children, these sisters-in-law probably don’t care much for you, either. For that reason, your spouse should have a heart-to-heart with his siblings. If he can’t get through, see if your mother- or father-in-law can make some headway. Be sure everyone understands the consequences … either these two meanies clam up, or there will be one less family along for the oceanside vacay next year. If they refuse to acknowledge or change their ways, rent your own house in summer 2014 and invite your hubby’s parents and all the grandkids for a day visit or a sleepover. In all likelihood, your offspring are not the only ones who could use a break from Drizella and Anastasia.

I’m in a Hamptons share with 15 others and one of my housemates hums the same song morning, noon and night — even after we’ve begged him to stop. It’s been driving the rest of us nuts. Any advice?
—Andrew H., Bridgehampton

The same tune that’s irritating to the rest of you is likely soothing to him, and he may well be launching into these humming sessions unconsciously. (Either that, or he just loves annoying you.) Continual murmuring of a cherished ditty can actually be related to an obsessive-compulsive disorder, with the humming serving as a coping mechanism. Given that you’ve spoken to him about this on multiple occasions and he fails to switch up his melody, I’d either tune the tune out or drown it out — with a house playlist that’s more varied than the one he’s been serving up.

This is the last weekend of my summer share in Southampton. It’s been a blast, but there’ve been a few nights when things got out of hand and expensive items in the house were broken. I was counting on getting my share of the security deposit back, but now it appears unlikely that will happen. Am I stuck for the damage caused by others? —Leo K., Battery Park City

The law of averages means that we’ll all break/stain/crush/knick something in a rented home eventually and, therefore, the cost of innocent mistakes should be absorbed by everyone. But if there were housemates (or their guests) who were deliberately reckless in their regard for your landlord’s possessions, have a heart-to-heart with them about ponying up so the rest of you won’t have to. Although this conversation should have been had well before Labor Day, you’d better do so now or forever hold your peace. Once the summer is gone, your chances of seeing these malefactors (or their money) again will diminish faster than the 80-degree weather.

Next up: Open House Etiquette! Have a question? E-mail me at testingthemarketnyc@gmail.com or post on facebook.com/mistermanners