The 6 wildest tales from Roseland Ballroom

If the walls at Roseland Ballroom could talk, they would tell some crazy stories, but Rockaway Park, Queens, resident Glen Post is the next best thing. Between 1996 and 2005, he worked at the hall as dressing room security.

“I’m not the kind of guy to get star-struck,” says the salt-of-the-earth New Yorker. “I didn’t bother them or ask for pictures or anything. I treat it as a job and remain professional. One time Mick Jagger asked me if I wanted him to sign my cast. I just said no, and embarrassed him in front of about 100 people!”

Post, now 60 years old and retired, still has many friends who work at the venue, and although Roseland’s owners have kept quiet about why it’s closing, he says he has the scoop. “I’ve been told that it’s going to be a high-rise apartment building.”

On Monday, Roseland will close its doors for the last time after the final show of Lady Gaga’s seven-night residency. To mark that passing, Post raided his personal diaries and his steel-trap mind to tell some of Roseland’s weirdest backstage tales.

Alanis Morissette, Feb. 8, 1996

“Her drummer at the time was Taylor Hawkins, who now drums for the Foo Fighters — the girls love him. That night there was a girl who looked like one of my all-time celebrity crushes, Heather Thomas from ‘The Fall Guy.’ She asked me if she could get to the dressing room, and I said no. So she grabs my hand, puts it in her blouse, up her skirt, then asks me again! I still say no. Then she takes her own hand and puts it down my pants and asks me again. This time I said, ‘No, but thank you very much!’ ”

Fiona Apple, April 30, 2000

“A lot of people talk about this night but they don’t know what really happened. Before the show, she was skipping up and down the corridor saying, ‘This isn’t Roseland — it’s Fiona Land!’ During the show I heard this crazy banging because the sound was awful, then she went stage left to the stairway and was there for about 30 minutes, just crying. When she finally got back to the dressing room, people were saying she was having a meltdown. Everyone was trying to help console her, even Gwyneth Paltrow, who was there that night. But she wouldn’t go back onstage.”

Bjork, Nov. 17, 1995

“I was sitting outside the dressing room doing a crossword puzzle and someone taps me on the shoulder. It’s Bjork! She said, ‘Can you do me a favor?’ She took me by the hand into the bathroom, lifted up her skirt and asked me, ‘Can you hold my leg while I shave my legs?’ I just held her leg in place on the sink while she did what she needed to do, she said ‘Thank you,’ and that was that. I guess the sink was a little too high for her, so she needed my help!”

Marilyn Manson, Oct. 29, 1996

“He was very professional before the show. But about half an hour before he went onstage, I was sitting outside the dressing room and he walks out with just a jockstrap on and a candle up his ass.”

Type O Negative, March 14, 2000

“I usually stay about an hour after the shows. That night, the singer Peter Steele brings these two girls back to the dressing room. I don’t care about that sort of thing — I just checked their IDs to make sure they weren’t underage and asked them if they were sure they wanted to do this. They said yes, and went into the dressing room. Twenty minutes later, Peter comes out with just a towel on and calls me in. The two girls are just sitting on the couch, completely naked. He says to me, ‘You see anything you like?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ So he says, ‘Go for it.’ So I went to the table, grabbed a couple of bottles of Gatorade for my ride home and left!”

Courtney Love and Hole, Feb. 15, 1995/May 18-19, 1999

“Back in 1995, Hole’s guitar player [Eric Erlandson] was going out with Drew Barrymore and I remember her being there. But in 1999, Courtney Love was running around backstage naked. Her security guard said, ‘Don’t look at her!’ And I said, ‘I don’t wanna look at her!’ ”

---

Weren’t able to get tickets to Lady Gaga’s final Roseland Ballroom performance? Tune in to the finale streaming live at getmoregaga.com on April 7 at 9 p.m. ET.