As any old lady on the Upper West Side will tell you, “There’s a lid for every pot.” But get together with any group of single New York women, and they’ll ask: “Where are these men — er, lids — of which you speak?”
Or more to the point: “Where the eff are they?” The city’s Economic Development Corporation crunched census data in 2012 and found there were actually more single male New Yorkers than females aged between 20 and 34. But down in the trenches, we all know those numbers are skewed by the proliferation of gay men who roam the mighty metropolis.
Nil desperandum! There are eligible, straight men out there. You just need to know their natural habitat, be it a kooky karoake bar, sweaty comedy club or wholesome bike trail. To prove our theory, here are seven highly vetted, single, successful, stable men at their favorite hangouts, just waiting for the right woman to walk in the door.
Specimen: The hot Broadway star
Natural habitat: PH-D Rooftop Lounge at Dream Downtown (355 W. 16th St., Chelsea)
Name: Zak Resnick, 27, star of “Piece of My Heart” at the Signature Theater Center
Why the Dream Hotel? Well, I like the name of it, first of all. Whenever I have friends come to visit, they want to hang out in this area, and this place just seems like the best in terms of style and crowd.
Where else do hot Broadway stars hang? Usually the Theater District for a drink, or several hundred drinks. Glass House Tavern is a very typical hangout place for me. Bar Centrale for a more upscale kind of night. And I love Añejo for some food and wine.
Who’s your type? Beautiful women with confidence and fearlessness — feisty is a huge turn-on.
Fave mating call? I like a direct approach. It all comes to attraction. No one has a shot if there’s nothing there. But if there’s chemistry there, we’re all adults and there’s no reason to beat around the bush.
Specimen: The save-the-world lawyer
Natural habitat: Planet Rose Karaoke Bar (219 Avenue A, East Village)
Name: Riad deFreitas, 35
Why Planet Rose? I love karaoke! When someone really gets into her performance and is really confident about it, that’s extremely attractive. If you decide to sing at Planet Rose, you’ve basically decided to open yourself up to strangers.
Where else do you hang? I tend to lean toward dives and more relaxed places. Recently, I’ve been spending a lot of time at a bar called High Dive in Park Slope. I’ve also logged a significant amount of time at Blue Haven, Donnybrook and Parkside Lounge.
Who’s in with a chance? Someone with a good heart, a pretty smile and who hopefully likes me for who I am.
Favored courtship ritual? Laughing at my jokes always helps. Also, letting me know if I did a good job with my karaoke!
Specimen: The indie-film director
Natural habitat: Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club (514 Union St., Gowanus, Brooklyn)
Name: Dan Nuxoll, 39
Why do you love Royal Palms? It’s a great, laid-back place to spend an afternoon or evening. It’s an easy place to strike up a conversation — I’ve actually only played shuffleboard once here.
Do you get hit on here? Not really, but it’s a cool crowd! I’d be happy if it happened. As long as you’re . . . well . . . attractive and not crazy!
So who might qualify as Ms. Right? A woman with a vibrant, creative spirit who will tell me something she’s passionate about.
Specimen: The best-selling author
Natural habitat: The Plank (216 Bedford Ave., Williamsburg, Brooklyn)
Name: Jake Tomsky, 35, author of “Heads in Beds”
What’s with the Plank? It has zero pretense. After a long day of writing, I don’t want to look at a ridiculous menu filled with expensive craft beers.
Do girls hit on you there? Everyone who goes out in Williamsburg gets hit on! I‘d put the Plank bar at the top though for possibilities. It is scintillatingly close to the Bedford L stop, so a rotating mass of beautiful single people swirls in and out all day.
Your ideal mate? I am very passionate about what I do, so I absolutely look for that in a woman.
What’s a good flirting tactic for the ladies? Writers are the shy ones. Go talk to them.
Specimen: The media hotshot
Natural habitat: Acme (9 Great Jones St., Noho)
Name: Jonathan Keidan, 40, co-founder of insidehook.com
Why do you like Acme so much? It’s 5 feet from my house. The food is amazing, and the room is always fun and lively. The downstairs is a speakeasy and it’s got this unique combo of rowdiness and elegance.
What are you drinking? Foxy Brown, a tequila drink with ginger, mint and lime. Not too sweet and has a kick.
Where else does the typical “InsideHook” guy like to hang? I like the Smile for brunch. I sit at the bar and read a newspaper. For late night, I like Baby Grand. Never a bad crowd and chic without being pretentious.
Do girls hit on you when you’re out? If I’m having a good time and I’m relaxed, I feel like girls respond to that. If I’m stressed or thinking about work, I probably come off as a little more closed off.
So which of us is in with a chance? Girls with personality and opinions. Being funny is always a plus.
Specimen: The cute comedian
Natural habitat: Seth Herzog’s Sweet comedy show, every Tuesday night at the Slipper Room (167 Orchard St., Lower East Side)
Name: Greg Barris, 32, writer and star of comedy album “Positive Male Energy,” out this fall
What’s so great about Sweet? I perform four nights a week, and I’m really comfortable in this kind of venue. Tons of people have met and hooked up after a night at Sweet.
What are you drinking? I don’t really drink. I smoke a lot of weed.
Do you get hit on a lot? Yes. Girls think funny is sexy, right? A lot of girls randomly hit on me on Instagram. There are some crazy, come-meet-me-on-this-street-corner stories . . .
And your type? Cool, sexy women who want to have fun — and don’t need me to marry them tomorrow.
Suggested courtship ritual for the opposite sex? “Hi” works really well for me. “Do you wanna come smoke weed with me?” might work. But I prefer a “hello.”
Specimen: The male model turned entrepreneur
Natural habitat: Mother’s Ruin (18 Spring St., Nolita)
Name: Henry Tibensky, 33, owner of Henry Leo Group
Why do you love it here? It’s a good daytime chill spot. A lot of interesting people come here, and they make creative drinks. All my guy friends hang here.
Do you get hit on a lot at Mother’s Ruin? There’s a lot of glances across the bar. [I’ve had] some really awesome nights here, looking back, met a lot of fun girls, but I won’t get into those details!
Where else do you go? Tao Downtown for a bigger night out. Grey Lady has a great vibe and is owned by good guys. I love to go dancing the most — for that I go to Verboten or Le Baron.
Any tips on female mating calls? Sometimes all it takes is a smile. I like quirky, authentic people. Be yourself!
Your type? I’m turned on by unique, intriguing women. I like a little mystery.