STICK a fork in Vito Fossella. The guy is so done, he makes Hillary Clinton look animated.
Now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Fossella may be guilty of nothing more compromising than being a grown man who has a “good friend” named Laura Fay.
Still, the frisky legislator broke several key commandments that have long ruled the behavior of men who insist on having their cake and eating it, too.
Commandment No. 1: Thou shalt not get popped.
Fossella was busted in Virginia last week, drunk as a skunk. Still, he may have gotten a free pass. That is, until he broke . . .
Commandment No. 2: Thou shalt not acknowledge maybe Love Children.
Vito blurted to arresting cops that he was on his way to visit his child, who was sick. Funny thing, his still-wife back home was busy tending to his three kids, and had no knowledge of an ailing child.
No. 3: Thou shalt not utter the address of the Other Woman.
Vino Vito gave the address to which he was heading to see his sick young ‘un as Grimm Street. Funny. His increasingly “good friend” Laura Fay just happens to live on Grimm Drive.
No. 4: Thou shalt not get bailed out of jail by a female friend, good or otherwise.
No. 5: Thou shalt never, ever, under pain of death, hire a thing called a “crisis-management consultant.” Whatever that is. A sure admission of guilt.
No. 6: Do not allow said crisis-management consultant to utter the words: “This is a demeaning and highly inappropriate question” when asked whether the toddler girl of your “good friend” is really your own kid.
Whoops! Too late.
Call me next time, Vito.