WHO does Simon Cowell think he is, asking for 144 million big ones for five months work — a Yankee?
No. Actually, he thinks (make that, knows) that he is the main reason 25 million people, give or take a few mil, tune into “American Idol” week after week making it the No. 1 show on TV.
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Simon’s scowl is probably also the biggest reason that the show earns $900 million in those five short months, while he himself earns only $36 million.
OK, that’s not exactly bus fare — but, in reality, it’s four lousy percent of the big bucks that rush through the “Idol” doors faster than golden tickets fly out of them.
Personally, I wouldn’t watch the show without him. I probably wouldn’t watch without Paula or Randy either, because I love them like family in some sad, sick, crazy “Idol” worship way.
But even family can only go so far — if they didn’t have Simon to bounce off.
Paula would just be bouncing period, and Randy, who is like the nice cousin in a dysfunctional family, would be sitting there waiting for someone to turn the Thanksgiving table over.
Readers and fans started wondering, too, if Cowell gets the big, big bucks, would Paula be lining up right behind him, causing a “Friends“-style salary war?
No. And yes.
If Paula began demanding those kinds of dollars, she’d more likely get the boot than a big boost. That doesn’t mean they won’t give her a raise the size of the treasury of a small country — which does translate into bus fare in Hollywood numbers.
But you realize that, with all the drama over the years, the powers aren’t as high on her as, well, she has been herself more than once or seven times on the air.
Would Cowell have as good a time beating up on newbie showoff Kara DioGuardi in place of Paula? Maybe. But we sure wouldn’t.
When she’s not trying to be clever or, worse, stripping so that someone will notice she’s still there, Kara is tolerable — at times — thanks to Simon.
At the risk of sounding like his agent, Cowell is worth the insanely big bucks.
Simply put, Simon is the A-Rod of “Idol.”
Better, in fact. Cowell never gets benched.