IF you’ve never watched “Dancing With the Stars” and don’t know what “SYTYCD” stands for, you have no business being at “Burn the Floor.” (It’s “So You Think You Can Dance,” by the way, and the acronym frequently pops up in the program’s bios.)
“Burn the Floor” consists of a breathless, plotless succession of ballroom routines. That’s it, and it’s either a lot or not very much, depending on your love for this type of dancing.
Directed and choreographed by Australia’s Jason Gilkinson, the show has been touring, in one form or another, for a decade. In this Broadway version, 20 hoofers zip through the 10 styles that make up international competitive dancing, including the quickstep, the Viennese waltz, the paso doble and the foxtrot.
Sometimes the performers swirl around in pairs; sometimes they’re grouped up in ensemble numbers — and everybody appears in the high-energy finale, set to “Proud Mary” and “Turn the Beat Around.”
The cumulative effect is like gorging on the sugariest cake ever.
Scratch that: There’s no cake here, only colorful and sprinkly frosting. And the cherry on top is the presence of Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff, two likable pros from “Dancing With the Stars.”
Watching them shimmy along to a cover of Shirley Bassey’s brash “History Repeating” in a blur of fast-moving hips, shoulders perpetually on the verge of dislocation, is truly exciting. In fact, the temperature at the Longacre Theatre noticeably rises every time Maks and Karina are onstage.
The duo’s booked only through Aug. 16, though, and “Burn the Floor” really needs the pizazz only true ballroom names can bring. (Are Mark Ballas and Cheryl Burke busy this fall?)
Like the show itself, the rest of the cast, while likable, is mostly charisma-free and needs more magnetic oomph. It’s not for lack of hard work, that’s for sure. If you’re sitting on an aisle or in the first two rows, you’re likely to be hit by specks of sweat flying off the dancers’ manes. At times, the men’s glistening pecs look like rows of taut chicken breasts after a spray of Pam.
The Vegas/cruiseship aesthetic is surprisingly tasteful, even when costume designer Janet Hine follows the “Chicago” lead — if you’ve got it, flaunt it, preferably in black underwear. Singers Rebecca Tapia and Ricky Rojas move about in the middle of the troupe, backed by a mix of prerecorded elements and live instruments (special props to spectacular drummer Henry Soriano).
Still, too much of a good thing can be . . . too much. I generally can’t wait for the numbers in a musical, and yet I found myself craving a book here. If “Burn the Floor” makes one thing clear, it’s that the time is now right for Baz Luhrmann to adapt his movie “Strictly Ballroom” for the stage.
elisabeth.vincentelli@nypost.com
BURN THE FLOOR Longacre Theatre, 220 W. 48th St.; 212-239-6200.