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There’s a great scene at the beginning of “To Have and Have Not” in which Lauren Bacall, slouching against a wall, turns to Humphrey Bogart and says, “Got a match?” He tosses her a pack. She lights her cigarette and stares at him longingly.
Oh, for those heady, sexy, smoky days. Not only can you no longer smoke in bars or restaurants in NYC, you can’t smoke in public parks, on beaches, promenades or pedestrian plazas either. Even if you take someone back to your place (in which case you really should have passed the “Do you have a light?” phase of the relationship, FYI), legislation has now been proposed that could ban smoking in individual apartments. And since Bloomberg last week announced the tobacco product-display restriction bill, which would require stores to conceal cigarettes, people won’t even be able to locate a pack of smokes, much less find someone to light their fire.
This is a shame, because “Got a light?” was a practically perfect pickup line. It was casual. It established a common interest. It gave you a prop to work with so you didn’t have to make too much conversation. And if the conversation didn’t work out, you could just walk away. After all, you were only there for a cigarette.
So what’s left for Generation 2.0 daters? iPhones. Yes, Apple is making it easier to find love in the Big Apple.
John, a 40-year-old ex-lawyer from Prospect Heights, Brooklyn, says that his phone provides an easy in when trying to strike up conversation with women in bars. His standard opener? “Do you have an iPhone charger that I can borrow for a few minutes?”
Does it work?
John says so. “It does because you are stuck with them. You wind up together for a few minutes, strike up a conversation. Like smoking, you already have something in common: the same phone brand. And you talk about having the same problem — which is your phone always dying.”
It’s not the deepest shared interest.But it’s not just the guys using their cell as a wingman. Mallory Blair, a 24-year-old publicist from Williamsburg has developed her own approach. “Instead of asking for a charger, which is a pretty quick interaction, you want something more like ‘Do you have a light?’ which is a stop-and-chat starter. Something closer to, ‘I don’t have service in here, do you have Google Maps?’ followed by asking them to look up how to get to the next bar you want to go to . . . which you then bring them to.”
This might be more effective. Brendan Sullivan, a 30-year-old DJ from Fort Greene, Brooklyn, says “When you were asking someone for a light, you were asking for their help. They might not smoke, but they’d find one for you. Or not.”
If you don’t have a phone, though, you’re going to have problems.
Kevin Seccia, a 37-year-old screenwriter from Williamsburg, says, “I ask her for the time. When she asks why I don’t check my phone, I go, ‘What am I, a millionaire?’ Then I pull out my pockets and slink away into the night.”
(A portion of funds from this article will go toward getting Kevin a phone.)
Of course, you could go retro.
Ted Gushue, a 24-year-old editor from Union Square, suggests trying, “Terribly sorry, but do you know how to refill a fountain pen?”
Alas, he’s going to have to approach women who are Lauren Bacall’s age before he finds one.
Or you could just skip the phone altogether, and cut to what matters. Robbie Sokolowsky, a 33-year-old creative director from TriBeCa, suggests you go with, “You gonna finish that sandwich?”
“It shows a girl that you have an insatiable appetite for food (among other things) and hate to see things go to waste. It’s all about being true to the moment.”
And at least that’s something you can put in your mouth that won’t give you cancer. God willing, sandwiches will never be banned.