This week’s “Mad Men” was full of mad. Lots and lots of madness.
Our protagonist, the usually suave and dashing Don Draper, is sick and disgusting. Even his new wife Megan is grossed out, refusing to stand near him in the elevator — until, of course, he’s approached by some broad from his casual, philandering days of yesteryear. Ballsy Andrea, a “freelancer,” er, “homewrecker,” totally puts the moves on him before Don gets the sense to introduce her to his wife. Young Megan is angry, as the youngsters tend to get when their husbands are nearly manhandled in elevators by strange women. Don tries to explain. “We’re in Midtown, we’re going to run into people.” Yes, Megan, he’s had sex with all of midtown.
Peggy, Stan and Michael Ginsburg work on an assignment for a pantyhose company, which somehow involves Stan wearing pantyhose over his face. I think Stan’s role this season is similar to Roger’s: comic relief. Peggy’s friend Joyce, who just pops into the office at random, shows up with Time photos of the Chicago student nurse massacre, and everyone is fascinated.
As it turns out, Sally Draper has heard about the killings too, as a result of being forced to stay with her stepdad’s mother, Pauline, while Mother of the Year and Captain America are away. Despite being warned by her father to “avoid rickets staying in the haunted mansion,” she finds herself practically chained to the kitchen table, wrestling with her bourgeoning eating disorder and listening to Pauline tell the heartwarming tale of when her dad literally kicked her across the room. When she can’t sleep because she’s freaking out, worried she’s going to be raped and murdered, Grandma Sunshine tells her the blow-by-blow account of what happened in Chicago and tosses her a sleeping pill. Three cheers for Sally’s impending trip to rehab!
Joan’s breasts are cooking again, or at least that’s the shot we get from inside the oven. The occasion, of course, is her husband’s triumpant return from Vietnam to the baby that he doesn’t know is not his. Joan’s mom plays the role of sexytimes facilitator, whisking little Kevin away so that they can remember what sex with a spouse is like. When Greg arrives home, he greets his infant son with, “Jesus, is that him?” No, it is not Jesus, Greg, it’s Kevin, your illegitimate son. After holding him for approximately six seconds, it’s time to frolick with Joan in the boudoir, since she’s wearing her boudoir hair and all. Kevin goes out to get a pack of cigarettes with Grandma. The next morning, Greg sends Kevin and Grandma out for beer and tells Joan that he’s going back to Vietnam for another one year-stint.
Later, at maybe the worst dinner ever with Greg, Joan, Kevin, Joan’s mom and Greg’s parents, it comes out that Greg apparently volunteered to return to Vietnam, saying he is needed there. Greg’s parents and Joan completely freak out, and in a stroke of comic genius, an accordion player stops by the table at the height of the argument. This brings to mind the sad, sad episode where Greg forced Joan to play the accordion and sing for his boss and other dinner guests like some sideshow spaz. Lest we forget, this is one of many horrible things Greg forced Joan to do against her will, know what I’m sayin’? Joan’s mom tries to convince her that she needs to be understanding and flexible as the wife of a service member, but Joan can do no such thing. The next morning, she tells him to go and never come back. This does not go over well. In her collected, cool way, she chides, “You’re not a good man, even before we were married, and you know what I’m talking about.” Indeed he does, and Dr. Rapist leaves with no fanfare. It’s the fastest breakup in history. Greg spent so little time with Kevin that I’d be surprised if he could pick him out of a lineup, which is probably for the best since he looks suspiciously like his real father, Roger Sterling.
Meanwhile, Peggy has now taken to drinking quite a lot at the office, and so when Roger approaches her to save his ass by working on the Mohawk account over the weekend, she summons her liquid courage and eventually gets him to fork over $400 after demanding that he “dazzle” her. Drunk Peggy is the best. While working late that night with her bottle handy, Peggy hears a noise and creeps through the deserted office only to find Dawn, Don’s new African-American secretary, sleeping in his office because she’s afraid to go home. Peggy invites her to stay at her place, and they bond over beers, with Peggy insisting that she knows what its like to be the oddball — in her case, the only female copywriter in the office (well, until Mrs. Draper’s “promotion”). Then she totally blows it by starting to leave the room and realizing she’s leaving her chock-full-o-cash purse on the coffee table by Dawn. Dawn realizes that Peggy has realized this and everyone comes to the realization that Peggy is still a teensy bit racist. That, or she’s just protective of her hard-won cash. Dawn slips out in the morning, leaving a very nice thank-you, and Peggy’s guilt sets in.
After making it through a few meetings and another verbal flogging from his young wife, pale, sweating Don drags himself home only to be part of a horrible dream sequence in which Andrea, who apparently freelances as a burglar, breaks into his apartment, seduces him into having sex (oh Don, no!), and then finds her throat on the bad side of his kung fu grip (oh Don, seriously — no!). After the dream ends with him shoving dead Andrea under the bed, he wakes up to find that all is well, and he’s just mentally disturbed is all. That’s one hell of a virus.
Scary stuff! Looking forward to the return of absentees Pete and Pryce and more Drunk Peggy next week. Hopefully little Kevin will learn how to make his own sandwiches.