This week’s episode, ominously called “Dark Shadows,” focuses on the weighty aspects of life, and we’re not just talking about Betty and her Reddi-wip fetish. She’s back, and she’s got a food scale.
A noticeably slimmer (but not yet back to pre-divorce emaciated) Betty weighs her bird food in the dark as the episode opens. She looks oddly pleased with herself, like weighing those cheese cubes is just the trick to reversing her shame spiral.
And since we’re feeling better about ourselves, Pete brags to Bert, Roger and Don that the New York Times wants to interview him for a story on hip new ad agencies like theirs, renewing Roger’s distaste for weasel. Don flips through recent work to put together a pitch and seems disturbed that Peggy — and especially Ginsburg’s — names are on everything. This plays nicely into the recurrent theme that Don (1) hasn’t done much in terms of work in some time, and (2) Don is getting old while these whippersnappers are running the show.
Bert feeds Roger a lead because the potential client is Jewish — and hey, so is Roger’s wife, Jane. Except Roger has to explain he and Jane are divorcing (he leaves out the part about how the LSD made him do it). Roger in turn goes to Ginsburg and asks him to keep a secret (“No.”) and come up with a pitch (“Before sundown on Friday. I’ve been taking notes.”) for Manischewitz. Ginsburg doesn’t understand why Roger wants this so badly, so Roger explains, “When a man hates another man, very, very much, sometimes he wants to know something is his, even if in the end, he has to give it up.” Since Roger’s pockets are apparently weighing him down, Ginsburg convinces him to give him $200 for the effort.
Megan, stay-at-home-actress, teaches a captivated Sally how to cry on cue. “Just keep them wide open and think about something that makes you sad.” Among the other things Megan can teach Sally: how to speak French; looking put together while barefoot; eating ice cream sarcastically; one-pot meals; keeping house in your underwear; hiding teeth; securing marriage proposals from the boss; and burlesque dancing for drunk/amused/embarrassed crowds.
Don heads to the office, suddenly motivated, and snoops in a folder called “Sh*t I Gotta Do” that belongs to Ginsburg. He spots his doodles for the SnoBall campaign (missing on this list are any references to ego rehabilitation or contact with the Mother Ship). While picking up the kids after the obligatory weekend with dad, Betty also finds herself snooping — this time around Don and Megan’s apartment. She catches a glimpse of slender Megan getting dressed in the next room and looks downtrodden. Megan gives the kids awkward new-stepmom kisses and off they go. This episode is enough to flush Betty right back into her bad habits, squirting a ton of Reddi-wip into her mouth once she’s in the privacy of her dark kitchen. Thankfully she spits it out, and we see why when she shows up at a Weight Watchers meeting. She admits she had a bad week after being in an “uncomfortable place,” which pretty much describes Betty’s entire life.
Peggy and Ginsburg pitch their ideas for SnoBall to Don, and Don contributes one of his own that has to do with the devil and a snowball’s chance in hell. Everyone seems to agree that Ginsburg’s SnoBall in-the-face ad is better, but that doesn’t stop desperate Don from leaving Ginsburg’s board in the cab when they go to actually meet the clients.
On yet another dark night in the Francis kitchen, Betty comes upon Henry making what looks like a cow chip in the frying pan late one night. Sad sack Henry admits he’s tired of eating fish every night, and besides that, his job is at a dead-end so he’s resorted to eating dried cow dung. Betty calls it a setback and reiterates that she’s there to help him figure out what’s next, like maybe more Reddi-wip.
Roger pleads with Jane to join him at his client dinner, which she agrees to so long as he buys her a new apartment. Roger has no control over his life anymore, despite whatever good vibes he got from his LSD trip. Pete dreams that his new forbidden paramour, Rory Gilmore, will walk in and take off her coat and be naked for him in his office, but of course this does not (yet) come to pass.
Mom of the Year Betty helps her kids with their homework, taking note of her son’s drawing of a picture of a whale with harpoons in its back, which obviously is about her. Then when Sally asks where to add Megan and Henry to the dysfunctional family tree she’s creating, Betty says she can put Megan next to Don, but she tells her not to leave out Don’s first wife, Anna! Sally is angry to hear her pops was married before Betty, and Sally takes it out on Megan for not telling her sooner, and then Don takes it out on Megan for saying anything about it at all — and if everyone were smart, they’d just take it out on Betty and shove the Reddi-wip in her face.
Pete calls Don on Sunday morning, all upset because the Times article came out with nary a mention of his name or of SDCP. When Pete says Don should take more of an interest in his work, Don tells him to bugger off, because it’s Sunday — Sundays, as we all know, are for confronting your young smart-mouth daughter about what she knows about your first wife. Don asks Sally if she has something she wants to ask him and then takes care to explain that Betty was only trying to use her against him. “You should realize that your mother doesn’t care about hurting you.” He gently explains that he and Anna were married because of the law and that Anna’s taking the dirt nap, and Sally puts it together and realizes that’s whose house they went to in California way back when. Later, Betty praises Sally for her great grade on her family tree project, and quizzes her about what she learned about Anna. Sally lies and rubs it in her face, saying she got to see photos of Anna and everything.
There’s something in the air in the elevators at SCDP, because Peggy decides to thrash Roger, upset that he chose Ginsburg to do the Manischewitz pitch instead of her. “Were we married?” snaps Roger. That evening, Roger and Jane woo the clients, and when their attractive son shows up, Jane seems ready to woo him. But Roger escorts her back to her new Roger-funded digs, and then in spite of her being upset with him, she kisses him, tells him to stop, and then continues. The next morning she tells him he’s ruined everything yet again.
Ginsburg learns that SnoBall loved Don’s devil campaign and that his idea was currently riding around Manhattan. Ginsburg squeezes into an elevator with Don to antagonize him about the ad. “I feel bad for you,” he sneers. “I don’t think of you at all,” responds Don. Winner! Megan slops up some jellied cranberry sauce and sets the table and Thanksgiving is officially here. What a load off.
And for next week: where is Joan? When will she spill the beans (Heinz, of course) about sending her husband packing? Is Betty willing to swap Reddi-wip for Cool Whip? JUST TASTE IT!