And we all thought Ronnie and Sammi were bad!
This week’s episode of “Jersey Shore” started off with Snooki being sprung from jail following her little run in with the Italian authorities.
The pint-sized troublemaker wasted no time getting back into the swing of things as when she returned to the house an opportunity to play a prank on the Situation presented itself. While Snooki was on the phone with her boyfriend Jionni, Situation’s booty call Brittany shows up at the house, looking for her hook-up buddy.
Snooki, quickly realizing that this situation (pun intended) could provide for some late-night entertainment, invites Brittany upstairs and tells her how much the Situation likes her and sends her to wait in his bed.
Not knowing what awaits him back home, Situation invites a local girl back to the house with him, Pauly D, Vinny and the rest of the cast. Upon his arrival, Situation is presented with the situation and decides to go with the sure thing (Brittany) rather than trying to find out if this new girl is DTF.
All-in-all the prank was funny and worked out for everyone, I guess karma came in the form of a 4-foot-9 tanned guidette this time around (Snooki).
After serving up her payback, Snooki begins to freak out as her boyfriend is scheduled to arrive in less than a day. Fearing that she is fat, pale and gross, Snooki has Jwoww apply some spray tan to her and runs through a series of outfits in preparation for Jionni’s arrival.
Once Jionni arrives, Snooki gets right down to business, literally. Rather than give Jionni a tour of the house and introduce him to the roommates, Snooki orders him to go right to the smush room so the couple could, well, smush.
While the smushing is commencing, Situation shows off his newfound karate skills (Napoleon Dynamite ring a bell for anyone here?) and threatens to not only kick Jionni in the face, but also tell him the truth about his hookup with Snooki.
Once the crew heads to the club, Snooki makes a bee-line for the bar, which, as we’ve seen in the past, is a recipe for disaster. Snooki then lets the world know that she cannot wait to “pop out” cute and tan guido babies and marry Jionni.
As the night goes on, and the liquor continues to flow, Situation becomes increasingly paranoid regarding Jionni and informs everyone that he constantly has his guard up.
Snooki begins to dance on a stage at the club, and before long her dress is being lifted up and she is showing the world her goods, in all of their blurred-out glory. This doesn’t please Jionni, who storms off claiming that Snooki is embarrassing him. I’m not sure why Jionni is so upset here, just because unless you’ve been living on Mars for the past 18 months, you would have known about Snooki’s penchant for drinking and embarrassing behavior. I mean seriously dude, it’s called Google.
And I digress.
As Jionni storms out, Snooki freaks out and chases after her boyfriend, with Ronnie and Jwoww following closely behind. Snooki, in her drunken state, becomes belligerent, hitting a cab and telling her best friend (Jwoww) that she hates her.
Ronnie, who knows a thing or two about fighting with his girlfriend, chases down Jionni and tries, to no avail, to talk some sense into Jionni.
Jwoww continues the hunt for Jionni, finally crossing “walking barefoot in Florence” off of her Bucket List.
Back home Deena and Sammi attempt to console the distraught Snooki, while Situation, like a shark smelling blood, attempts to creep in on Snooki in her vulnerable state.
Pauly D and Vinny, the two lost boys of this episode, decide to fire up the grill. Nothing like burgers for the boys in a time of crisis right?
Jionni eventually returns home, storming past Snooki so he can gather his things and leave the house after a long fight.
Sammi, who is the Floyd Mayweather of boyfriend/girlfriend tussles, finally realizes all of the trouble she has caused for her roommates with the ongoing Ronnie saga, calling it a “movie.” I wouldn’t expect an Oscar nomination any time soon.
Snooki crawls into bed and cries herself to sleep as the episode ends and we are all left to wonder what will become of her and Jionni’s relationship.