Welcome to this week’s edition of the Fantasy Tracker Wrestling Federation, with your host, Jim Ross, along with the The King, Jerry Lawler. ROSS: Jerry, Adrian Peterson took a slobberknocker to the knee last week in Green Bay. This week, his tag-team partner Chester Taylor will be grappling for yardage against the hapless Raiders run defense.
LAWLER: Taylor was strong last season only to get bumped out of the mix by Peterson. He’s got some unfinished business this week, J.R.
ROSS: In the other corner, the Raiders have Justin Fargas running against a Vikings run defense that is tougher than a $2 steak.
LAWLER: The big “V” D is gonna body-slam that poor soul. Fargas is gonna fold quicker than a metal chair.
ROSS: Talk about slamming, it doesn’t matter who’s playing them, the Broncos defense gets pummeled by opposing runners. LenDale White is gonna have that team against the ropes this week.
LAWLER: I’ll tell you what I want, J.R. I want someone to show me the puppies. Show me some players who can’t be counted on who I can count on this week.
ROSS: You want some puppies? How about Kyle Boller. This guy has been the fantasy version of the Undertaker: If you play him, you’re dead. Well, not this week. The Browns couldn’t stop air traffic if they were in the control tower.
LAWLER: Get on the waiver wire if you’re hurting and pick up Mark Clayton. By the end of the day, the Cleveland peons will be kissing his royal feet.
ROSS: Clinton Portis has been running like a scalded dog, but he’s about to get burned in Big D. As God as my witness, I say they’re gonna break him in half.
LAWLER: That’s right, J.R. President Clinton is about to get impeached.
ROSS: Somebody else that’s gonna get whipped like a government mule – Jon Kitna. The Lions can’t pass protect, and good God Almighty, do the Giants have a pass rush. Kitna will get his yards and a few scores, but the Big Blue defense will rack up some sacks and pick up a pick or two.
LAWLER: What a beautiful way to sign off for the week.
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Last week’s Survivor pick: Green Bay over Minnesota. This week’s pick: Indianapolis over Kansas City. Record: 9-1.