Is there a forensic accountant in the house? May I write-off $60 in gambling losses as a business expense? Legally? Submit the 60 bucks in my expense account?
My tale of woe:
Wednesday, I watched MSG’s daily wrap-up show from Aqueduct/Belmont. Running down the Kentucky Derby entries, tout/analyst Andy Serling, who always sounds convincing, made a good case for Candy Boy, 20-1, early line.
So I determined to play Candy Boy. Thursday, I ask my pal, The Goo, if he intends to bet the Derby. The Goo shoots me one those “Naturally, Bozo” looks. So I asked him to bet Candy Boy, $20 across (win, place, show).
Saturday morning I read an email from reader Eric Lewin of Livingston, N.J.:
“Got in the car, Friday, to go to the Meadowlands to place my Derby bets. WFAN’s on. I hear Mike Francesa on a know-it-all rant about how he’ll have Candy Boy on all his betting cards. I immediately looked at the bets I was going to place to make sure Candy Boy wasn’t on any of them. Check.”
Francesa touted Candy Boy? Noooooo! Twenty horses and he had to pick mine!
During the race, track announcer Larry Collmus gave Candy Boy his only “call,” noting that Candy Boy’s in trouble. I gave him The Goo’s “Naturally, Bozo” look.
Anyway, Francesa “Mushed” this Mush. Candy Boy steadily rallied from 19th to finish where he logically belonged — 13th.
Hold your horses! NBC coverage a rare bright light
The Derby was a needed antidote to a week steeped in stink. California Chrome arrived gift-wrapped in one of those nags-to-riches stories that make us smile.
And jockey Victor Espinoza made a sweet co-star. Speaking with NBC’s outrider just after winning, Espinoza refused credit: “I just let him enjoy the race, let him do what he wants to do.”
Minutes later, Espinoza, still up, gestured to the applauding crowd then pointed to the horse, as if to say, “I had nothing to do with it!” Fabulous.
NBC’s telecast was a nice mix of fun, scenery, scents, history and serious journalism (Bob Costas’s interview with trainer Steve Asmussen, accused of animal abuse).
Co-host Josh Elliott, a recent claimer from ABC/ESPN, was good on his feet, keeping it moving with light interviews made extra good because he listened to, then considered the answers before his next question.
The Jimmy Fallon spot in which the entries were photoshopped to their names, hit the long-shot exacta — funny and clean.
And NBC, better late than never, kept the odds scrolling at all times, except one: They were alertly, respectfully removed during the national anthem.
Yes men continue to treat us as if we’re blind and/or stupid. Sunday, bottom of the second, Ken Singleton praised Mark Teixeira for tagging and scoring on a fly — as if Teixeira had options.
Top third, after Carlos Beltran failed to back up Jacoby Ellsbury, turning a Wil Myers fly off the wall into a three-run, inside-the-parker, Singleton went Sgt. Schultz; he saw nussing!
The unfiltered sewerage flowing from this Donald Sterling calamity seems endless. V. Stiviano sees him as a father figure? She’s devoted to him? He suffers from confusion? He’s not a racist, only speaks like one?
Then why did she record him, likely covertly? Why was that specific recording preserved then passed until it was made public? If she’d been just a tad less supportive she’d have shoved him down the stairs.
After anticipating a pass that wasn’t made, Doc Emrick, Saturday during NBC’s Habs-Bruins: “It is hard to be a mind-reader. I should give up on it.”
Wednesday, after Craig Carton complained that the Mets have only “one title in 40 years!” Boomer Esiason reminded him that it’s two in over 50, “Or does it only matter when you’re alive?”
With Grant Balfour pitching the ninth for the Rays Sunday, Michael Kay on YES: “Not a great last name for a pitcher — Ball-four.”
If Mariners’ reliever Fernando Rodney wore his cap any more to his left, every time a man was on first, he’d be called for a balk.
You know you’re watching too much TV when: You keep confusing Tuukka Rask with Hoda Kotb.
Who’s surprised at Mad Dog’s madness?
To hold Chris Russo accountable for a fractured, racially insensitive — I don’t condemn people as racists as a matter of guesswork; such stains don’t easily wash — reply as to why his namesake SiriusXM channel, Mad Dog Radio, has no black show hosts, would be like holding a puppy accountable for missing the newspaper.
Throughout his radio career, Russo has specialized in and been rewarded for recklessness. He lambasts people in long, loud screeches based on nothing more substantial than a bad guess.
Russo once went on a tirade, ripping Pedro Martinez as “gutless” and a “quitter” after removing himself from a Mets game. Martinez, the next day, was scheduled for arm surgery. But in Russo’s wild-eyed world, no big deal; it’s on to the next designed-to-stoke-and-provoke bashing!
Those who should be held accountable for Russo’s words are those who find his style so appealing that they’d feed him a fortune to have him play on their team. In this case that’s SiriusXM and, recently, MLB Network. (Or is this another of those Don Imus “Who knew?” things?)
We’re lucky to live in these times, no? After Portland’s Damian Lillard’s shot beat the buzzer to end the Rockets-Trail Blazers series, Friday, ESPN’s Mike Tirico: “You have one of those rare moments, a walk-off 3 to win a series.”
Sunday, with the Nets up, 104-103, in Toronto, 8.8 seconds left, Tirico said that the Nets, trying to inbound, just “had to burn their final timeout.” Burn it? Why would they save it?
Reader Michael Christadore figures the time is near when an NHL announcer will tell us, “It’s a one-possession game.”
And what more do we need to know about ESPN than that it has handed its master key to circle-talker Stephen A. Smith? Saturday, in a national ESPN Radio update, tape of Smith’s expert analysis of that night’s Warriors-Clippers Game 7 was selected. Smith said the game would be close, but “won’t go to overtime.”
Genius! He nailed it! After 48 minutes the game was not tied! Incredible!
Good job by ESPN, during Friday’s Rockets-Blazers, memorializing Jack Ramsay.