It’s all an elaborate, all-in-on-it impractical joke — in high def. Knock-knock, you’re it.
In the second period of Game 5 of Rangers-Capitals on Friday — Rangers up, 1-0 — the Blueshirts’ Brian Boyle was whistled for an obvious penalty. From in front of the Capitals’ goal, and with play headed the other way, he swung his stick against the back of Mike Ribeiro’s legs.
“Boyle slashed Ribeiro and I think he got called for it!” Sam Rosen, the Rangers’ MSG TV voice hollered when play was stopped. “Ribeiro decked Boyle, but they caught the retaliation!”
Analyst Joe Micheletti took it from there: “Ribeiro’s crosscheck was missed. Boyle was down on the ice, and Ribeiro was frustrated that he couldn’t get the puck in. There’s a push, and then a slash. That’s the one the referee catches.”
The Capitals, a man up, quickly scored. Deep into the third period, the 1-1 score was still being explained as the result of a “retaliation penalty” on Boyle, an implication that the refs blew it. The Rangers, in a huge game, had been robbed by at least one of two half-blind or incompetent refs.
When the Caps won in overtime — on a goal by Ribeiro — one could be left to conclude the Rangers had been thoroughly victimized by Ribeiro’s missed or ignored crosscheck on Boyle.
Fine. Except for one, little thing: If, as Micheletti stated, the refs missed Ribeiro’s crosscheck, they weren’t alone. Nothing of the sort happened. Ribeiro didn’t commit an infraction of any kind, nothing even close. Ribeiro and Boyle were in view during their entire, shared shift. I replayed it five times.
What Rosen and Micheletti so plainly saw — and complained about — never happened, except, perhaps in the dutiful minds of those employed by a network that has placed candor, not to mention viewers, in the freezer since Jimmy Dolan dumped Marv Albert for frank appraisals of bad Knicks teams.
The next night, this hoax was handed off to ABC/ESPN. In the second quarter of Knicks-Pacers Game 3, Jeff Van Gundy riffed about refs miscalling fouls. He said he’d like the number of fouls allowed per NBA player increase from six to seven.
After all, Van Gundy concluded, “fans pay to see the best players.”
We’ve heard such before. In other words, the soulful axiom, “No one is bigger than the game,” should no longer apply. Why not simply cease calling fouls on the best players?
Yet, if fans pay to see the best, why does cheering from the home crowd rise — er, I mean, “go vertical” — when the stars of visiting teams get into foul trouble?
Based on Van Gundy’s theory, let’s give Peyton Manning five downs, Derek Jeter four strikes, Novak Djokovic three serves and allow Tiger Woods to play outside the rules? … What’s that? The last one already happened?
4 balls — or only 3?
What the heck? In the bottom of the fifth in Kansas City on Saturday, runner on first, two out, Yankees up, 3-2, did Lorenzo Cain walk on a 2-2 pitch? You tell me:
First pitch from Andy Pettitte: Called strike by ump Mike Wegner. Second pitch: Fouled off. Third: Fouled off. Fourth: Ball one, 1-2 count. At that point, Ken Singleton, on YES, said it was a 2-2 count. YES’s graphic had it 1-2.
Fifth pitch: Ball two; Singleton calls it a full count; YES changes its graphic from 2-2 to 3-2. Sixth pitch: Foul. Seventh, a ball. If the count was 3-2, why didn’t the man on first run on the pitch? Cain thought he took a 2-2 pitch; he stayed at home — until he was told he’d taken ball four.
David Cone said Cain lost track, but it seemed that he hadn’t. Based on the pitches shown, the count was 3-2. Pettitte and catcher Chris Stewart appeared confused, too. Seven pitches, three of them balls. Still, Cain was on first with a walk.
* Although the Mets lost big to Pittsburgh on Friday and Saturday, Gary Cohen, Ron Darling and the SNY/WPIX truck had strong games.
In Friday’s ninth inning, one out, none on, pinch-hitter Jordany Valdespin, pre-programmed toward indiscriminate immodesty, hit a home run to make it 7-2.
Even before an isolated tape showed Valdespin posing, then flipping away his bat as if he had just conquered Mesopotamia, Darling was on his case. Neither team, he said, could be pleased with such a me-first demonstration, especially given the score.
On Saturday, with Valdespin pinch hitting, the Mets down, 10-1, Cohen essentially provided a “look-for-it,” mentioning Valdespin’s conduct the night before. Second pitch, Valdespin was nailed with a pitch to his middle. Dugout shots — manager Terry Collins seen in a close-up — provided evidence that no one appeared surprised, or in the Mets’ case, upset.
“There’s no Met who’s going to object to that,” said Cohen. “They all expected it.”
Rutgers gets failing grade for research
It turns out Eddie Jordan, proudly announced as Rutgers’ new coach and holder of a degree from the university, didn’t actually graduate. Rutgers shot-callers seemed to be the only ones who had no idea Jordan’s predecessor, Mike Rice, acted like a raving, raging lunatic before the university purchased his presence.
Funny thing, though, throughout academia, Rutgers is nationally known for research.
* Sure, NFL Network was eager to publicize the fact that Chargers tight end Antonio Gates was angry to be selected so low — dissed at 73rd — in NFLN’s “Top 100 Players of 2013.” That Gates took such offseason space-filler seriously became a Tom Sawyer fence-painting ploy. Hey, AG, imagine how I felt; I wasn’t selected, at all!
* Three times Friday on YES, Ken Singleton and David Cone noted the Yankees had drawn a big crowd in Kansas City. Road attendance is often a topic on Yankees telecasts. Odd, though, how new Yankee Stadium attendance — or serious lack of it — is seen but not spoken.
* Once again yesterday, had the tens of thousands of dollars spent on pink equipment instead been donated to breast cancer research … A pink ribbon attached to every jersey wouldn’t have done it, it has to be a PR stunt instead of a cure initiative?
* Nothing makes network golf-casters more uncomfortable than having to note that a person of immediate interest — Sergio Garcia, in Saturday’s case — publicly stated that Tiger Woods ain’t such a nice guy.
* With Howie Rose away calling hockey, the Mets scored fewer runs than the Islanders scored goals.
* Reader Adam Monges notes the Rockies last week called up a reliever named Josh Outman. He then had to take me by the hand before I got it — a reliever named Outman! … Robinson Cano’s indifferent base-running would have been enough to drive Billy Martin to drink.