David Javerbaum, the former head writer on “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” — he co-wrote the musical “Cry- Baby,” too — collaborated with God on His memoir last year, mainly to punch up the jokes.
The book was called “The Last Testament,” and while it didn’t sell anywhere near as many copies as Bill O’Reilly’s “Killing Jesus,” it did achieve something of a cult following.
As a result, God has decided to transubstantiate it into a play, to debut next season on Broadway.
Javerbaum famously sang a song from “Cry-Baby” on TV’s “Theater Talk” — for which he was ridiculed mercilessly (and appropriately) on “The Daily Show.”
He agreed to pass on some questions I had for God about “The Last Testament.” You’ve worked with other writers in the past — Matthew, Mark, Luke and John — so why did you decide to go with David Javerbaum? He’s funny, but not as funny as Luke, whose book — as George Bernard Shaw once wrote — reads like a “saucy French novel.”
This is the third David with whom I have collaborated professionally. The first wrote 150 magnificent Psalms of praise in My honor. The second left 82 people dead in an inferno in Waco, Texas. I would rank this David somewhere between the first two.
Were you disappointed that “The Last Testament” didn’t sell as well as your last book, the Bible?
Looking back, I think we should have done with “The Last Testament” what we did with the Old and New Testaments, which was to get a merchandising tie-in deal with every hotel in the world.
Were you inspired to turn your book into a stage show by the success of “Jesus Christ Superstar” and Hugh Jackman’s one-man show?
Hey, what omniscient all-powerful deity hasn’t dreamed of having a show on Broadway?
Do you have any particular director in mind?
Cecil B. DeMille.
Will you be seeking input from other writers — Shakespeare, Tennessee Williams, Eugene O’Neill?
I may bring in David Mamet to help with the vocabulary.
How is Sam Beckett these days?
Still waiting for me.
Are there any amateur theater groups in heaven? If so, do they attempt anything more ambitious than Neil Simon comedies?
There are amateur theater groups in heaven, and they play exclusively for audiences in hell.
Everybody on Broadway is into “marketing” these days. Do you have any clever ideas about how to attract audiences to “The Last Testament”?
Of course, I want the show to run as long as it can. But once it stops running, due to lack of ticket sales, I’m going to end the world. I think that’s a pretty good marketing ploy.