Lloyd Blankfein, the chair man of Goldman Sachs, would probably like to see me hurt. And I’d like to see him investigated for insider trading.
So I figured a boxing match was in order. The only hitch, I can’t seem to get Blankfein to do it.
Let me tell you anyway how I almost became a pugilist.
A few weeks ago someone from a gym downtown was looking for some publicity and mentioned that there is a charity boxing match with Wall Street types going against each other scheduled for Dec. 10.
It’s for an excellent cause — to help women who are trapped in the sex trade industry. It’s at Cipriani Wall Street, an expensive joint that is only accustomed to sweat when customers get the check.
One of us — and I can’t imagine it was me — suggested that I might want to participate.
Without really giving it a lot of thought I agreed — but only if my opponent was Blankfein, the 56-year old Bronx-born, Brooklyn-bred gazzillionaire who leads a merry gang of other gazzillionaires at the Wall Street firm. I figured, why waste punches on someone who doesn’t deserve them.
I’ve been investigating Goldman and Blankfein for years and — yes — I think he should get a smack or two.
I’ve probably got a few pounds on Blankfein and I’m a few inches taller than his 5-foot-7-inch frame. But I’m also a year older. And the only time I’m ever near a gym is when I have to pass one to buy a bagel. (Yes, the gym and the bagels are right next to each other in our building.)
So I figured this would be a good matchup, unless of course Blankfein is a black belt in karate and I’m about to suffer a beating.
The guy who called me seemed to agree that this would be fun and tried to set up the bout. But he did make me commit to a training regiment, towhich I replied with a decisive, “Yeah, sure.”
Let me briefly tell you about my qualifications as a boxer. Back in the sixth grade at St. Agatha in Brooklyn, I threw a punch at Marty Burke, a friend who had probably stolen my Spaldeen or committed some other grievous offense. Marty turned, and my jab (or it could have been a cross) landed squarely on his shoulder blade and I broke my hand.
It was one of those career-ending injuries. I never fought again. But, hey, what guy doesn’t want to get into the ring? The silk shorts pulled up to mid-chest! Attractive women in your corner swabbing your brow! A guy dedicated to just fixing your cuts!
That’s my corner.
Blankfein would probably have his butler, a maid and a plastic surgeon. And he’d be sitting on moneybags instead of a stool. But we will never know because, as of right now, there is no match. I’m still willing although training time (Yeah, sure) is running out.
I don’t really know how this battle of the over-the-hills got nixed and I don’t know if the word ever got to Blankfein himself. So, this’ll be my final plea: Hey, Lloyd, (unless you are a karate champ) let’s do it.
You can imagine my disappointment. I’ve been shadowboxing around the office just to get into the mood. Let me give a plug to this worthy cause anyway.
Money from the evening is going to The Somaly Mam Foundation, which — as I said — is dedicated to helping women caught up in the sex trafficking trade. The bouts are being run by TKO Productions and you can get information from Cipriani Wall Street.
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How much longer do you think Ben Bernanke will keep his job?
Truthfully, the guy was given an impossible situation when he took over as chairman of the Federal Reserve. But he’s also not blameless.
Remember, before he was appointed the head of the Fed, Bernanke was one of its governors and helped make the decisions about interest rates that got us into our current mess.
Back when he was only a Fed governor, Bernanke warned the world that if the economic situation got to where it is today — deflation — he’d print money.
Bernanke was so proud of this idea, something he’d worked on all of his academic career, that he gave speeches about it. (I took him to task back then about it and he issued a statement playing down the role of electronic moneymaking.)
Well, he’s not playing it down today.
In fact, just last week Bernanke announced that he would again allow money to be printed — $600 billion in this instance — to purchase US government bonds. This program is the second round of quantitative easing, or QE2, the snappy name Wall Street gave to it.
The idea behind QE is that the government becomes a major buyer of these securities and thus keeps interest rates down, or makes them go lower.
Since QE2 was an nounced, inflation ex pectations have risen sharply. Just check the price of gasoline at the pump or cereal and clothing at the store. And interest rates are rising, not falling as they are supposed to do.
Right before QE2 was announced on Nov. 3 the 10-year US government bond was yielding 2.57 percent. Yesterday it had climbed to 2.73 percent. And interest rates could get even higher now that the Chinese government, which has been the biggest buyer of US government bonds, seems to be on the warpath over quantitative easing.
So, can Bernanke keep his job under these circumstances? Even more to the point, would he want to? jcrudele@nypost.com