Since Kate Middleton wed Prince William in 2011, the Duchess has played her role nearly perfectly. That’s about it. The Post’s Hailey Eber thinks mooning crowds has been the most interesting thing the Duchess has done. Barbara Hoffman thinks differently. Read her counterpoint here.
Since Kate Middleton wed Prince William in 2011, the Duchess has been a near-perfect little royal wife. She smiles often and talks little. She’s produced a chubby, healthy male heir and snapped back into her pre-pregnancy J Brand jeans in just a few months. Her brown hair bounces. Her wardrobe effortlessly mixes designer with high street. Her dresses are fashionable but never risky or flashy, and they hang on a willowy frame that suggests she gave up carbs when she signed on for royal life. There’s just one problem. She has a bizarre tendency to flash her body to the world.
On a visit to Australia last month, the wind blew up Middleton’s Diane Von Furstenberg dress, revealing her seemingly bare bottom — I’m going to assume there’s a thong in there, though others believe she was going full commando. In an act that clearly has larger political implications for Anglo-Teutonic relations, German tabloid Bild published the photos Tuesday. The Palace called the move a “grotesque” invasion of privacy, and Internet surfers around the world were faced with an ethical dilemma on whether to indulge in googling the princess’ bare bum. I didn’t immediately fire up the search engine, not because of some high-minded ideals as to what I’ll look at online, but rather because I’ve seen it before.
The Duchess has been plagued by Marilyn Monroe “wardrobe malfunctions” for years. On her first royal tour in 2011, her royal rump was revealed on a Calgary airstrip when some pesky wind got under her yellow Jenny Packham dress. Since then, Kate has had numerous Monroe moments, but still she persists in wearing short, easily windswept skirts — blustery tarmacs be damned. Maybe Middleton isn’t as boring as she seems. Surely at this point she knows that she’s had some modesty malfunctions, but she soldiers onward — still wearing breezy skirts and dresses with little to no underwear.
In February, the Queen reportedly ordered that Kate wear longer hemlines to keep things covered up, and I have to wonder if Kate’s persistence is an act of rebellion, or at least the one vestige of her former life she clings to. After all, before she was a royal drone, Middleton did catch Prince William’s eye by walking in a school fashion show wearing a see-through dress. Maybe there’s an exhibitionist freak flag flying beneath that endless streak of perfect hair days.
At the very least, there’s a woman who’s not immune to the occasional fashion mishap. From their early days, William and Kate have made great efforts to be a normal couple. She did her own makeup for her wedding! He only took the allotted two-week paternity leave after George was born! But such moves have often seemed more contrived or silly than genuine. (She took lessons from a professional makeup artist. Being there for your wife and newborn son is probably more important than keeping up the “just like the rest of the guys” charade.)
Kate’s skirt issues, however, reveal a genuine and intriguing chink in the royal armor of perfection, and that rules!
Kate Middleton’s bottom line is in the news. The Post’s Barbara Hoffman thinks the Duchess’ chic wardrobe is what Kate is known for and not her wardrobe malfunctions. Read her counterpoint here.