Rumor has it that this year’s People’s Sexiest Man Alive title is set to be conferred upon Adam Levine, Maroon Five frontman, coach on “The Voice” — and irritator of many, judging from the general outcry over the early reports. We agree: He’s a known narcissist who only dates models under 25. Plus? “Petulant,” states a “Voice” fan in our office. How about a man of substance? Before the final decision is made, we’d like to propose five alternate choices for Sexiest Man Alive. Are you listening, People?
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1. Matt Bomer
Robert Ascroft/USA Network Bomer was the clear fan favorite to play twisted “Fifty Shades of Grey” hunk Christian Grey, though he didn’t end up snagging the part; we know he’s got sex appeal, because (though we don’t watch “White Collar”) we’ve seen his stripper moves as a living Ken doll in “Magic Mike.” Best of all, he’d be the first openly gay Sexiest Man. High time, we say.
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2. Benedict Cumberbatch
His throngs of adoring female fans call themselves “Cumberbitches,” though the sensitive Brit has been gently lobbying to change that to Cumberbabes or Cumbercollectors. Though not cut from the traditional Hollywood hunk cloth, Cumberbatch has a unique smolder that derives largely from the intelligence he brings to characters like Sherlock Holmes, Khan in the latest “Star Trek” and even just the voice of Smaug the dragon in the “Hobbit” movies.
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3. Michael B. Jordan
From “Friday Night Lights” to “Parenthood” to “Fruitvale Station,” we’ve watched Jordan grow into a hottie with depth (early Oscar buzz, anyone?). Plus, with the just-announced news that he’ll play Johnny Storm in the “Fantastic Four” remake, he’s got superhero cred, too. Jordan can rescue us from a burning building any day.
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4. Russell Brand
You can do it, Russell: Brand knows porn messes him up, but he can't quite stop looking. Getty Images People could really shake things up with comic Brand, an avowed radical, as a cover boy. Surely he’d be the first Sexiest Man to have said, “I don’t get my authority from this pre-existing paradigm which is quite narrow and only serves a few people.” Furthermore, he’s already garnered some sexy cred over in England, which awarded him “Shagger of the Year” multiple times due to the sheer volume of his conquests.
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5. Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele (tie)
Because funny is sexy. And right now, nobody’s funnier than this two-man sketch team, whose edgy Comedy Central show has seen the rubber-faced duo playing an entire team of football players with tongue-twister names; President Obama and his “anger translator”; Germans in whiteface during the Nazi regime and enthused Elizabethan theatergoers. Hot, we say!