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Lanza’s dad: I wish he’d never been born

The father of the fiend who slaughtered 26 children and teachers in the Sandy Hook school massacre after first gunning down his mother is sure his son would have killed him, too.

In his first interview ever, Peter Lanza tells The New Yorker magazine, “With hindsight, I know Adam would have killed me in a heartbeat if he’d had the chance. I don’t question that for a minute.”

And Lanza knows why his 20-year-old son fired four bullets into mom Nancy. Each one represented a member of the family, he said.

“One for each of us,” Lanza said. “One for Nancy; one for him; one for [his brother] Ryan; one for me.”
Lanza said that since the unfathomable crime, sympathetic strangers from around the world have “sent thousands upon thousands of letters and other keepsakes.’’

The dad admitted that he wished Adam had never been born.

“That didn’t come right away. That’s not a natural thing, when you’re thinking about your kid. But, God, there’s no question,” Lanza said. “There can only be one conclusion, when you finally get there. That’s fairly recent, too, but that’s totally where I am.”

Lanza said that since the unfathomable crime, sympathetic strangers from around the world have “sent thousands upon thousands of letters and other keepsakes.’’

Some also sent candy, which he kept, because he did not want to throw away any gifts. But neither he nor his second wife, Shelley, has eaten any of it.

That’s because he’s afraid to take the chance that it’s been poisoned, Lanza said. “I was wary of eating anything,’’ he told interviewer Andrew Solomon.

Lanza has also removed all pictures of Adam from his home after his son’s killing spree in Newtown, Conn., on Dec. 14, 2012. Adam fatally shot himself after committing the horrible crime.

“You can’t mourn for the little boy he was,’’ Lanza said. “You can’t fool yourself.’’

The heartbroken dad said he reached out to the families of his son’s victims. Two have taken him up on his offer to meet.

“It’s gut-wrenching,’’ he said. “A victim’s family member told me that they forgave Adam after we spent three hours talking.

“I didn’t even know how to respond. A person that lost their son, their only son . . . I would trade places with them in a heartbeat if that could help.’’

Lanza says he’s dreamed about his homicidal son every night since the shooting. And he described the worst nightmare of his life. He was walking past a door and saw a figure in whom he could sense “the worst possible evilness.’’ He realized it was Adam.

“What surprised me is that I was scared as s- -t,’’ he said. “I couldn’t understand what was happening to me. And then I realized that I was experiencing it from the perspective of his victims.’’

In the interview, he chronicles his son’s descent into madness and multiple visits to shrinks.

Adam was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, but Peter believes it was schizophrenia.

As his disease became more serious, the dad said, Adam developed a fascination with killing. And though his gun-packing mother never admitted it, she became afraid of him.

Whatever the doctors said — the article notes that some believe mass killers are not necessarily insane — Peter believes the “crime defines the illness.’’

And he said he’d rather believe his son was insane when he committed the atrocity than accept the idea that the unspeakable act was the product of a rational mind.