HOMICIDE: James Purejoy (right) plays a diabolical killer who convinces his “fans” to do his murders for him in a Kevin Bacon series. (
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‘The Following” is brought to you through the f-ing awesomness of Kevin Bacon. Ma-a-a-n.
No, that’s not me sounding like an idiot, I am capable of doing that using my own words.
The “f-ing awesome” Kevin Bacon remark follows the “Dear Press Member” greeting in the letter sent to grown-up journalists from the presumably grown-up producers of “The Following,” Fox’s gore-fest premiering tonight.
It’s not bad enough that the new series, which is debuting a few weeks after the horror of Sandy Hook, makes “Dexter” look like it was produced by Quakers. But in order to make it — what? hip— they send a letter to critics using idiotic language.
Anyway, the series which is a mash-up of a bunch of plots from movies and other TV shows, revolves around a banged-up, ex-FBI agent, Ryan Hardy (Bacon), who was the man responsible for nailing perverted serial killer/literature professor Joe Carroll (James Purefoy).
Joe is addicted to Edgar Allan Poe and so paid homage to him in his serial killings by gouging victims’ eyes out. Poe felt that the eyes were where a human resided and that art had to be felt in order to be good.
To that end, Carroll killed and gouged out the eyes of 14 female students.
In Episode 1, Carroll, who is imprisoned for life and is more Hanibal Lecter than Dexter, manages to pose as a prison guard and escape — horribly mutilating four prison guards before anyone notices.
Now he’s on the lam and no one but Hardy, who is retired and drunk and being kept alive by a pacemaker because of the damage inflicted on him when he and Carroll last met, is called back into action.
No one can find Carroll but Hardy, I guess
Meanwhile, the second the ex-agent reluctantly agrees to go back in, the big boss and the requisite nasty female agent instantly resent him and pray for him to go away.
But he doesn’t. No, no, no.
All of Carroll’s groupies (112 women who are his Poe pen-pals) are called in by the FBI for questioning.
One stands up, strips down, and we see she’s totally covered in Poe poetry — quotations tattooed all over her body.
But that’s not the shocker. (not even the part where she stabs herself to death in the eyes).
The jaw-dropping part is that she got into an FBI interrogation area with a knife. (No wonder they can’t find the guy — they are big idiots, too.)
The plot is interesting in that even after Carroll is caught again, the killing and gougings continue because — ta da! — he has a personal army of people willing to kill and die for him.
Who knew there were so many lovers of 19th century American literature?
There are twists and turns a-plenty, and Bacon and Purefoy are so good they make up for the silliness — if not the gratuitous gore.
I mean, a close-up of a bleeding, dying German shepherd who has been mutilated? Well, you f-ing lost me right there, ma-a-an.