Recently I received a request from a young writer who followed me on Twitter asking if she could “pick my brain” about various writing opportunities in New York City. “I’ll buy you coffee,” she concluded at the end of the email.
I wanted to help — but for me, a freelancer, time is money. I calculated that, including the commute, the casual coffee would eat up three hours in the middle of the workday. I turned her down, then felt a backlash of guilt, remembering my own mentors, all of whom had taken time to spring for a cup of coffee when I was starting out.
I’ve found that those who value my time and expertise are happy to pay the fee.
- Marissa Vicario
But when I talked over my decision with acquaintances, I was surprised at the reaction. Instead of agreeing that I should have helped, they bemoaned the brain pickers in their own lives.
“I offer free advice, when appropriate, but I feel it should be my call, not theirs,” says Steve Cony, president of Communications Counselors, a full-service marketing consulting firm based in Croton-on-Hudson, NY. “When someone asks to pick my brain, I bristle. My brain is how I earn my living — would you ask a plumber to unclog a drain for free?”
But perhaps unsurprisingly, putting a price on the picking can make the process much less painful.
“At least once a week I’m asked out to coffee or lunch by people who want to pick my brain,” says Dan Nainan, a Chelsea-based comedian who’s performed in front of the likes of President Obama and Donald Trump. “My time is valuable, and every minute I spend with someone is one less that I have to work on what I need to get done.”
Marissa Vicario, a Manhattan-based certified health coach, concurs.
“As my business has become more successful and my public persona has increased, I’ve increasingly received emails from others in my field who essentially want to do the same thing I’m doing. While I love mentoring, I value my time and expertise and have started to charge. I’ve found that those who value my time and expertise are happy to pay the fee,” she explains.
A large part of the commercialization of mentoring sessions may be because there are simply more self-employed types than ever before, especially in creative fields.
According to 2013 statistics from Economic Modeling Specialists Intl. and based on data from the United States Census, nearly one in four workers in the arts, entertainment and media are self-employed. New York City, in particular, is a nexus for freelancer types — nearly 10 percent of the creative class considers itself freelance.
Additionally, creative freelancers are finding that adding consulting to their list of marketable skills can boost their cash flow. Social media makes it easier than ever to find and contact potential mentors, and what may have been a polite phone call from a friend-of-a-friend two decades ago becomes a “Can you give me advice?” tweet from a stranger. Both factors influence how mentors perceive the task — and, experts agree, has led to the trend of monetizing the act.
“When people are self-employed, you absolutely need to think of how you’re spending your time,” says executive coach Mike Woodward. “That said, charging for the occasional mentoring service is a slippery slope. It’s one thing to brand yourself as a consultant if that’s what you want to do, but monetizing mentoring could become a distraction from your own career goals.”
But call the concept “consulting” and all of a sudden it makes sense to charge.
It’s one thing to brand yourself as a consultant if that’s what you want to do, but monetizing mentoring could become a distraction from your own career goals.
- Mike Woodward
The eponymous creator of Anne Chertoff Media, a boutique marketing agency that caters to the wedding industry, found a similar niche.
“I honestly got annoyed with people taking me to lunch and thinking that the cost of a meal could equal my contacts, expertise and advice, so I created a service called ‘Pick My Brain’ on my website. For $500, I give 90 or so minutes of whatever advice the customer needs,” explains Chertoff, who does, however offer free mentoring and networking for students.
Even startups have gotten onto the scene, with sites like pivotplanet.com and popexpert.com creating a platform for mentors to charge for their advice, and for mentees to custom-search for experts.
Still, these one-off exchanges leave career experts wondering how helpful this strategy is in the long term for either party.
Kate White, former editor of Cosmopolitan, believes that even those who charge should have an “exempt list”: people whom you always make time for, gratis.
“These might be relatives, or people you’ve worked with in the past, or people you know will return the favor,” she advises. “When you know your list, it’s easier to create guidelines for how to handle those who aren’t on it. Maybe it’s denying the request, maybe it’s changing the coffee date to an email back-and-forth.”
Experts also agree it’s important for mentors to think about the feel-good factor that comes from helping someone else get a leg up.
“It always used to irk me that people could think a $3 latte was the equivalent of my knowledge — but I don’t necessarily think putting a price on advice is helpful either,” says Amy Goldwasser, an editorial consultant and faculty member for the Columbia Publishing Course who fields several “pick your brain” requests a day. “I worry the genuine connection is lost when advice giving becomes a transaction.”