CINCINNATI — As we arrive at the halfway mark of the NFL season, it is time to hand out the Serby Says Awards.
The pool of would-be candidates has been diminished by the injury epidemic that has ravaged many of the league’s marquee names — Julio Jones, Reggie Wayne, Randall Cobb, Steven Jackson, Vince Wilfork, Jerod Mayo, Rob Gronkowski, Jay Cutler — and by suspensions to elite pass rushers Aldon Smith and Von Miller.
The league’s better-late-than-never safety-first movement to prevent head injuries to defenseless receivers at all costs regrettably has led to defensive players targeting the knees of the likes of Dustin Keller (D.J. Swearinger) and Cobb (Matt Elam) and caused great consternation in the land.
It truly is a survival of the fittest, and we remain addicted to this quarterback-driven league that is our national obsession.
The Serby Says Midseason Awards:
MVP : Peyton Manning. He’s on a mission not to let little brother keep Super Bowl championship bragging rights.
OFfENSIVE PLAYER: Philip Rivers. His 111.1 QB rating is second to Peyton (123.3).
DEFENSIVE PLAYER: Earl Thomas. Seahawks safety has 49 tackles, four INTs, five pass defenses, two forced fumbles.
COACH: Andy Reid. They love it in Kansas City when you matriculate down the schedule as the only unbeaten team in the league.
ASSISTANT COACH: Ben Kotwica. Jets special teams coach made such you haven’t forgotten Rule 9, Section 1, Article 3 (b) 2?
THE PICK SICK: Matt Schaub. Texans QB turned it into an art form, the instructional video should be out soon.
OFFENSIVE ROOKIE: Geno Smith. An arm, a head, and even a pair of legs.
DEFENSIVE ROOKIE: Kiko Alonso. Bills LB has four picks in his first four games and 70 tackles so far. Coach Mike Pettine loves him.
COMEBACK PLAYER. Philip Rivers. Chargers QB is only one from the celebrated 2004 Class without a ring but suddenly is the best of the lot. Wasn’t Norv Turner supposed to be the quarterback guru?
BEST GAME: Broncos 51, Cowboys 48. Peyton: 414 passing yards, four TDs. Tony Romo: 506 passing yards and five TDs in Week 5 shootout.
BEST INDIVIDUAL PERFORMANCE: Peyton Manning, for seven TD passes against the Ravens opening night.
THE MILEY: Julius Thomas. Bust-out Bronco is best young tight end.
THE SABAN: Greg Schiano. Buccaneers coach never should have left the college game.
THE GASTINEAU: Lavonte David. Bucs LB hit Geno Smith out of bounds setting up Nick Folk game-winner in Week 1.
THE GREG NORMAN : Tony Romo, for throwing a pick at the end of his shootout with Peyton.
THE JOE MONTANA: Tom Brady, for his last-second, 17-yard TD pass to Kenbrell Thompkins to beat the Saints.
THE EMMETT KELLY SAD CLOWN FACE: Rob Ryan, after Brady-to-Kenbrell Thompkins in Week 6.
THE NITTWIT: Ask Brandon Jacobs. Or ask Jim Irsay to ask Brandon Jacobs.
THE BRIDGEWATER: Jaguars.
THE CLOWNEY: Bucs.
THE MEADOWLARK LEMON: Geno Smith, for his behind-the-back fumble by the goal-line in Tennessee.
THE FRED ASTAIRE: Joseph Fauria. The Lions TE has the most creative end zone dances.
THE CHUCK WEPNER: J.J. Watt, for his messy bloody nose.
THE RYAN LEAF: Josh Freeman, for troubles on the field and off.
THE EARPLUG: The New York Football Giants, for allowing GM Jerry Reese’s “everyone’s on notice” proclamation fall on deaf earholes.
THE CHEAPEST SHOT: Ndamukong Suh, for cutting down of Vikings center John Sullivan during a Week 1 interception return.
THE NDAMUKONG SUH: Brandon Meriweather, for Redskins safety’s repeated crimes against Roger Goodell Nation.
THE JPP INVISIBLE MAN: Tim Tebow. Missed and loved by Robert Kraft.
THE HADFIELD AND MCCOY: (Tie) Clay Matthews and the 49ers, for their sideline confrontation; and Steve Smith, for teaching Janoris Jenkins that Googling derogatory family information can leave one gurgling.
THE SORE LOSER: Bill Belichick, for belatedly accusing the Jets of also pushing on field goals.
THE BIGGEST LOSER NOT NAMED AARON HERNANDEZ: Gus Bradley, for accepting the job as head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars, leaving a Seahawks team that could be passing around the Lombardi Trophy.
THE BIGGEST LOSER: Aaron Hernandez.