Earlier this week it was reported that the gaudiest director in Hollywood (Baz Luhrmann) would direct a picture about the King of Rock ’N’ Roll (Elvis Presley). The next question is: Who will play Elvis? (And, no, Leo isn’t cut out for it.)
Plenty of actors have attempted. Jonathan Rhys Meyers played the King in the 2005 miniseries for CBS. Kurt Russell starred in a TV biopic for ABC. Val Kilmer did a cameo as a kind of ghost Elvis in “True Romance.” And speaking of “True Romance,” Quentin Tarantino didn’t play Elvis, but had a cameo as a Vegas-like Elvis impersonator on “The Golden Girls.” (No big surprise there, given the oversized shadow Elvis casts over “True Romance.”)
Here are nine names that we hope the casting director will consider when thinking about who will play the proprietor of Graceland.
Vince Vaughn
Vince Vaughn is 44 years old — Elvis was 42 when he died. The years have left Vaughn with more than a little bloat, so an argument could be made that Vaughn is well past his prime. But by the time Elvis kicked the can, he was a bit bloated and past his prime, too. (No word yet on what period of his life filmmakers will focus on.) And no one could deny that 18 years ago, when Vaughn was playing Trent in “Swingers,” his babyish face and dark hair gave off the unmistakable vibe of the king.
Sam Palladio
It’s complicated figuring out a good Elvis. He needs to be good-looking. He needs the pelvis to pull it off. (“Elvis the Pelvis” was one of Presley’s nicknames.) And he needs the singing chops. Frankly, we have no idea if Sam Palladio can swivel — but as Gunnar Scott on “Nashville,” he proves he can sing. And for a Brit who studied acting in Kent, we tip our hat to his Southern accent.
Cheyenne Jackson
Experience counts for something, and Cheyenne Jackson has done Elvis before — or at least, an Elvis type. The “Glee” and “30 Rock” actor’s Broadway debut was in “All Shook Up,” the 2004 jukebox musical based on Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night.” Plus, if you YouTube Jackson’s name along with the words “A Little Less Conversation,” you will find a rendition that will impress all skeptics.
Justin Bieber
What was it about Elvis’ gyrations that drove teenage girls mad with desire? We’re not sure — but there’s no question that the Biebs does something similar to the ladies. (Even though he doesn’t look or sound anything like Elvis.) And like Elvis, he’s a hot, druggy mess. So take heed, Baz — if you’re looking to capture some of that Memphis magic, Bieber’s built-in star appeal might do some of your work for you. But you might have to wait for his voice to change.
Robert Pattinson
If you’re looking for built-in celeb sex power to get female fans in the seats, you could do a lot worse than R Patz — even though he comes at it from a different angle than Bieber. He’s more dark and brooding. And even though Elvis wasn’t really the brooding type, they share some features. Drop him in Tennessee for a few months, give him a leather jacket and then let him audition.
Harry Connick Jr.
So far, there hasn’t been a native-born son of the South on this list — which seems like a shame considering that Elvis was born in Tupelo, Miss., and died in Memphis, Tenn. So how about a Southerner? There’s no question that Connick has that deep-fried charm, a good pair of pipes and the looks to make a decent Elvis. But more than just a crooner, he’s had Broadway hits (“The Pajama Game”) and film hits (“Hope Floats”), he can slam it on the piano and he’s a big hit with the ladies.
Joaquin Phoenix
Plenty of people were skeptical that Joaquin Phoenix could play Johnny Cash — and he was nominated for an Oscar. So maybe the king of weird can also pull off the king of rock. Joaquin can sort of sing (he’ll have to work on his Elvis impression). And he sort of looks like Presley. (Which is strange, considering he also looks a lot like Johnny Cash.) No word on his dance moves yet.
Cate Blanchett
Well, she played Bob Dylan and nobody would have thought that she’d be able to pull that off — how much harder could Elvis be? A lot harder, we concede. Blanchett doesn’t look remotely like Elvis. And no, we don’t expect her to be able to belt out “Blue Suede Shoes” properly (she didn’t sing Dylan’s music). And there’s the little matter of the gender question. But, hey, Blanchett is a great actress — and doesn’t a great actress always prefer a challenge?
Nicolas Cage
When he was a mere lad of 26, Nicolas Cage serenaded Laura Dern with a rendition of “Love Me” in the David Lynch picture “Wild At Heart.” Cage’s voice was a little too high to be considered a straight-up impression, and he wasn’t nearly as pretty as the king. But with his swivel, his raw sexuality, and the intensity in his eyes, it’s also probably the best rendition of a Presley song by anybody other than Elvis himself. The aura of the king seems to have followed Cage around ever since — from the skydiving Elvises in “Honeymoon in Vegas” to his 3 ¹/₂ -month marriage to Lisa Marie Presley. At 50, he’s probably too old for the role now, but we can always dream. And — as long as we’re in the gender-bending spirit — if he passes on the role, we’ll note his ex-wife looks a hell of a lot like her father.