Like you, I’m upset by the recent shenanigans in Washington after lawmakers failed to meet a midnight deadline for keeping the government funded.
I understand a lot about what’s going on, but I also have a lot of questions. Here are a few of them:
1. If the Dow Jones industrial average fell 500 points in the first hour of trading some day this week, would it take the Republicans and Democrats five or ten minutes to come up with a solution to their differences?
2. How do you “close” a national park? I mean, anyone who wanted to walk along the waterfront on Brooklyn and Staten Island’s Gateway National Park could still do so today. And since park workers are among those furloughed who is going to stop you from jumping into the surf at Sandy Hook, NJ?
3. Would it be a good thing if the US Post Office were among those agencies that had to close? Maybe we’d find out that we can do without Saturday delivery. Maybe we also don’t need Monday or Wednesday service. Perhaps we don’t need the Post Office at all.
4. Are taxpayers still paying to feed President Obama’s dogs Bo and Sunny? Indeed, is it “essential” now that we continue to feed the President, his wife and kids? Maybe the Obamas should be digging into their savings like all the other laid off federal workers.
5. Would President Obama be willing to delay the start of the Affordable Health Care Act, aka ObamaCare, for a year if congressmen, senators and their families would test drive the plan for the next 365 days?
6. Why doesn’t the president include border guards in the group of furloughed federal workers? Would Republicans feel differently about the whole issue of government funding if the US borders were suddenly opened to any of the wretched and poor of the world?
7. What would happen if I took a private boat to the Statue of Liberty, which has been closed because the government has no money? Is there an unpaid guard over on Liberty Island who would be willing to shoot me with his own gun and ammunition he paid for himself?
8. Are the Chinese enjoying all of this? How about Vladimir Putin? Has anyone asked for their opinion of the crazy Americans? Maybe Putin would like to jump into these negotiations, too.
9. How many more of these legislative crises will it take before the American public is completely bored, especially the 18- to 49-year-old demographic group coveted by TV advertisers? What percentage of the American public thinks what’s going on in Washington is just a bad reality show that will be pulled from the air soon?
10. Conservatives think that small government is good. Does that mean that no government is great?
11. Have gun sales risen since Washington started talking about shutting down? What about the sale of booze?
12. Is anyone having a “shutdown” party and, if so, can I come? I’d offer to bring the nuts, but they all seem to be in Washington right now.