An Australian guy has put an ad on Gumtree, the Australian version of Craigslist, offering to pay someone $140 to watch games of Champions League soccer for him. For real. This guy wants to pay people to watch the soccer.
Why? Glad you asked.
“Dino” as he prefers to be known online, is a mad Arsenal fan. He’s also a 27-year-old with a job in the legal profession. Each day he starts work around 7 am. He’s a super-busy, hard-working guy.
But Champions League matches tend to happen around 4:30 in the morning in Australia, and that’s not convenient. So Dino wants someone to watch the games for him and pretty much assume his persona on social media.
Or as he puts it, “to post insightful commentary and engage in banter in a private Facebook group of football enthusiasts on my behalf.”
So in other words, Dino wants you to think and pretty much to act like him.
“As I have a busy work and social life, I cannot arise before 7am as I must catch up on my beauty sleep. However I also cannot allow my reputation as an intelligent football fan to fall by the wayside,” he writes in his ad.
“If you are successful in your pursuit of the job, you will receive a style guide which contains a selection of “Dundoisms” (common phrases and standard vernacular I utilize) which must be used when posting or engaging in banter with specified targets.”
We called “Dino” overnight and asked him to give us a more specific insight into some of the banter he’d like replicated.
One of his favorite digs is to call Liverpool “LOL’pool”. Hard to argue with that. He refers to Manchester United as “Manure”. Nice. And he calls new United manager David Moyes “Moisturiser”. Given Moyes’ incredibly soft start to the season, you’d have to say that’s pretty accurate.
Dino says he’s received several applications overnight, including from one guy who said: “I am constantly facebooking girls and have also got good football banter.”
Oh yeah, nearly forgot about the girls. In his ad, Dino says: “The successful applicant may also be trained to engage in strategic flirting and mind games with several females via the Facebook Messenger application.”
So there you have it soccer fans. This could be your dream part-time job. And we repeat. There is good cash in this. The only catch is, as Dino writes, “you will also undergo a three-day drilling to test your quick-wit and banter skills”.
The wider question here is what this says about modern life. Dino seemed like a perfectly decent guy on the phone, and his willingness to pay someone is admirable. Dino, we salute you.
The thing is, it’s one thing to pay someone to clean your house or mow your lawns, but to pay someone $140 to watch the footy for you? Is this outsourcing gone mad or a completely sensible solution to our ever more frantic lives?
We’re keen to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Oh, and Dino would love to hear from you if you’re a complete football nut. His details are on the ad.
This story originally appeared on News.com.au.