COLD WAR

Gelato is to most American ice cream what silk is to burlap. There’s just no getting around the fact that more than anyone, the Italians know what they’re doing when it comes to the cold stuff – after all, these are the people

who were scraping snow off

of mountains and pouring juice

over it a couple millenia ago.

Almost like soft-serve (can we say that?) but with boatloads more personality than you ever get at Carvel, gelato should be light, airy, and delicate, with half or less the

butterfat of American ice cream.

These days, there are many stateside purveyors, and they’ll all tell you that they were visited in a dream while on vacation in Florence or that they’ve got a nonna hidden in a closet somewhere with a super-secret recipe and that is why their product is just as good/better than the old country.

Let’s get real. While some come close, some of the time, is there any substitute for the real deal, consumed in the proper setting?

Partly because of its size, the Eternal City has some of the finest gelaterie on the planet. Unfortunately, (and any New York City bagel lover can understand this) there are plenty of hacks serving gelato-ish – bluntly, people who don’t know from it.

On my last visit, I made it my mission to hunt out the half-dozen or so top contenders in the historic parts of Rome you might find yourself strolling this summer or fall.

No chains, name brands, bright colors, massive price inflation; or newfangled flavors (Bubble gum? Are they serious?). Just good, old-fashioned homemade (produzione propia) or artigianale (artesanal) – and a touch of history, if at all possible.

So now, at least a pound and a half plumper (burp) I present 5 key gelaterie to try on your next Rome jaunt.

1) Giolitti To get to its 107-year-old original location on a side street, head from the front door of the Pantheon a couple of blocks and hang a right-just up on the right you’ll spot the big green-and-white letters. The gelato grande dame still turns out a fabulous product – like rich, nutty gianduia and a full-bodied chocolate – in a Belle-Epoque stage set dripping with marble, mirrors and crystal. It can get crowded, though, especially at night. A house specialty is in semifreddi al torroncino, a kind of pink ice cream cake that’s nice and rummy. Via Uffici del Vicario 40,

Giolitti.it; one other location.

2) Al Settimo Gelo After a swing through the over-the-top spread of Joey Rats (aka the Pope), revive yourself at this modest little joint a bit northeast of the Vatican, run by Mirella Fiumanò since 1997 on a quiet street in the Prati neighborhood near Piazza Mazzini. The slightly out-of-the-way spot lives up to its name, “Seventh Gelato Heaven,” delivering the best frosty treats (and very unfrosty service) I’ve had in Rome. Plus some of the flavors get wonderfully creative, à la Barolo, cardamom and “Iranian” (cream with rosewater, saffron, and pistachio). Via Vodice 21/A, AlSettimoGelo.it.

3) Gelarmony Just follow the crowd in halter tops and suits to the Ricci brothers’ cute little vaulted space, also located in Prati. The display case is crammed with colorful temptations, but the specialties here are Sicilian flavors like cannoli, cassata (ricotta/candied fruit), profumi di Sicilia (jasmine), and the tart vitamine dell’Etra (orange, lemon and grapefruit). And what the heck, get it on a brioche, like I saw plenty of locals doing. Via Marcantonio Colonna 34, Gelarmony.it; one other location.

4) Alla Scala Tucked away in a small, picturesque cobbled piazza, across from the baroque Santa Maria della Scala church in Trastevere, this tiny little gem of a mom-and-pop often outdoes the bigger, better-known gelaterie quality-wise, especially when it comes to the fruit flavors – you can’t go wrong with the luscious pear, pineapple, kiwi, melon, banana, fragola (strawberry), or frutti di bosco (forest berries). If you come at night, though, keep in mind that when a flavor runs out, it’s out. Via della Scala 51

5) San Crispino Many believe this tiny, tasteful, decade-old hole-in-the-wall two blocks from the Trevi fountain is tops in town. And on the cold stuff, you could definitely make the case (I especially dig the Valrhona cocoa, the zabaione with reserve Marsala, and the house San Crispino – cream subtly sweetened with honey).

Be warned, though. That’s where the magic ends. You can’t window shop (the bins have lids!), don’t ask for a sample (not gonna happen) and don’t think of sittting down (you can’t). I’ll still go back, though.

Via della Panetteria 42, IlGelatoDiSanCrispino.com; two other locations.

FLAVA FLAV

Cioccolato? Pistacchio?

Easy. But here are several of the other popular flavors you might need translated:

Gianduia hazelnut-choco

Havana choco-rum

Malaga rum-raisin

Nocciola hazelnut

Riso rice pudding

Stracciatella choco-chip

Zabaione Marsala custard

Zuppa Inglese cake-and-cream pudding.