THE stupid cat had it coming.
Forgive me, all you animal- rights nuts, you freaky lovers of things furry, fierce and woefully incontinent. I’ve got something to say to all assorted people who’ve got nothing better to do with their days than stick their noses in another man’s litter box.
The dead cat at the center of a whacked-out catricide trial now eating up precious court time and tax dollars in downtown Manhattan is no innocent wittle victim.
PHOTOS: Man On Trial For Cat Killing
Norman the Cat, who was pummeled to death last year at the age of 8 by an inarguably hot, allegedly drunk, former Met minor leaguer and bit-part actor named Joseph Petcka, had serious issues.
The first of which may have been his name.
Owner Lisa Altobelli testified yesterday that she named Norman after the zhlubby character Norm from “Cheers” – “my favorite show.” Norman Bates sounds more accurate.
No one likes to see a little frisky drowning in a pool of his own blood. Well, not many.
But Petcka had grown tragically fixated on the idea of getting along with the pet pussy that Altobelli called “my little buddy.” He wrote in his diary that he’d made “progress” getting the pea-brained flea bag to allow Petcka to pet him.
Early on March 27, 2007, Altobelli testified, Petcka had too much to drink. She said he chanted, in a weird, sing-songy voice, “Nor-man. Nor-man!”
So Altobelli did what anyone overly attached to a neurotic hairball would do when danger was afoot: She left Petcka alone in her apartment with her beloved cat.
Hours later, Altobelli returned. She found the puss under a table.
“He was cold,” she said, crying crocodile tears and hanging her head petulantly.
Petcka claims the thing sank his teeth into his hand. So he had to violently knock him away.
Innocent victim? Or kitty provocateur?
Why can’t we just ask Petcka to clean a few hundred litter boxes, and end this fiasco?