On Wednesday night, Spike TV saluted a comedy legend with the two-hour special “One Night Only: An All-Star Comedy Tribute to Don Rickles,” in which a host of comedy royalty came out to pay their respects to the 88-year-old comic.
The tribute — taped earlier this month at the Apollo Theater in Harlem — sees Rickles (nicknamed Mr. Warmth) get ribbed by the likes of Jerry Seinfeld and Regis Philbin with video messages from Bob Newhart, Eddie Murphy and many others.
Here’s a look at the 10 best jokes from “One Night Only.”
Jerry Seinfeld
To kick off the night, Seinfeld takes the stage and asks: “Why are we honoring a man who has spent 55 years insulting us? That’s like tracking down the guy who beat you up at fifth-grade recess and saying ‘Hey, that was a great punch.’ What he does takes the three Ts — talent, timing and testicles.”
Jon Stewart
“One night only, that’s all the doctor said, huh? I’ll keep my remarks brief,” the Comedy Central late-night host starts off. “If there’s one thing we can learn about tonight . . . we knew somehow the Jews would find a way to gentrify this neighborhood.”
He then gestures at the banquette where Rickles is seated with Robert De Niro, Martin Scorsese, Philbin, Johnny Depp and Seinfeld. “Nice wing men by the way. You’re really getting laid tonight.”
Brian Williams
“Welcome back to those watching at home. We can’t believe it either, you are watching Spike TV.” After taking a dig at the reality network, the NBC newsman talks about Rickles’ relationship with Johnny Carson — including his more than 100 appearances on “The Tonight Show.”
“About Johnny’s guests over the years, I know we all in this room share a particular favorite. All of America did — the great and incomparable Bob Newhart.”
David Letterman
The retiring CBS late-night host makes a rare public appearance, during which he talks about his first encounter with the man of the hour. “In 1976, I had the good fortune of meeting Don Rickles, and, oh my God, my life changed. It was at a Scientology mixer.”
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
The “Saturday Night Live” alums are the lone female comics of the night, and kill with witty award-show banter that they’ve been polishing as co-hosts of the Golden Globes. “So, here we are, because they thought it was important for Don to be honored by at least one woman, which apparently is what we count as,” Poehler cracks.
Jimmy Kimmel
The ABC late-night host appears in a taped video piece praising Rickles as the best talk-show guest and shares some of his personal memories of Rickles. When the camera pans out at the end, it shows Rickles sitting next to him. “How was that?” Kimmel asks. “That was weak!” Rickles retorts.
Johnny Depp
“I don’t know why I’m here,” the actor says what everyone in the theater was thinking before launching into a rambling speech more heartfelt than funny.
Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro
The oft-collaborating director and actor take the stage together, where Scorsese says, “Bob and I did like eight pictures together . . . Then we did ‘Casino’ with Don, 20 years ago — and we haven’t worked together since.”
De Niro shoots back, “Yeah, Don — on behalf of Leo DiCaprio, thanks a lot.”
“If I’d been directing this, I don’t think I’d have gone with the open casket,” Scorsese adds, gesturing to Rickles.
“Rest in peace old friend!” cracks De Niro.
Tracy Morgan
Morgan walks onstage with a flower bouquet, then tells of how Rickles sent him one when he was in the hospital for a kidney transplant.
“If a legend like you could care about me, maybe I should just get better,” he recounts thinking. Then, he reads a card he says came with the flowers, “Dear Tracy: I hope you get better. But I still don’t want you coming to any home games. Oh, wait, this one’s from Don Sterling.”
Don Rickles
He may be 88 years old, but Rickles’ wit is still sharp. At the end of the night, the comic toasts his peers for the tribute — but not without getting in a few barbs of his own. “I’m so thrilled as I look around the room that I’m the biggest name here,” he jokes. “You were all marvelous, except that De Niro was weak,” he adds, before launching into a mocking impression in front of his “Casino” co-star.