Kim Kardashian is reportedly set to marry Kanye West in a Los Angeles civil ceremony this week, but the rumored wedding will simply be a warm-up to the real thing — a fairy-tale ceremony in France on May 24 with (fingers crossed) sparkle ponies.
Not since Kardashian married NBA player Kris Humphries in an elaborate 2011 ceremony brimming with tulle, E! cameras and bad auspices have there been more breathlessly anticipated nuptials.
Two-and-a-half years after her disastrous 72-day marriage, the reality star is on her third union before God — and now, under Kanye’s tutelage, all of Paris’ top couturiers are vying to cover her generous rump on the big day.
Kardashian has been teasing us daily with highly publicized shopping sprees on the arm of Lanvin designer Alber Elbaz and posting selfies with Balmain’s Olivier Rousteing, leaving us wondering: Who will be the lucky designer?
She donned a fluffy Vera Wang princess number last time, and her marriage sank faster than Donald Sterling on an NAACP cruise.
So here’s some advice for the Liz Taylor of the Twitter generation: Pump the breaks on the feathered and beaded concoctions for the justice of the peace.
A minimal but sophisticated white suit would speak volumes — even if white is a bit optimistic, considering she’s an old vet at this marriage thing. (And let us not forget her infamous film debut, where she gained carnal knowledge of Brandy’s little brother.)
But back to the clothes! We loved her in the sleek gender-bending YSL menswear suit she wore on David Letterman’s show in January 2013.
A similar look would say that she’s serious about the marriage — not just the wedding — and cement her miraculous style transformation.
After that formality, we can take bets on the real hot-button issue: the likelihood of Kanye wearing a Louis XIV wig for the French reception, which he had hoped to hold at Versailles.